Fuck, why does he have to be such a nice guy?
“Yeah,” I say. “Much better.”
Lyle opens and closes his mouth a few times. It’s clear that he wants to say something but doesn’t know what. Finally, I break the silence, knowing that we could be standing here for a long time if someone didn’t.
“So…my mother let you in?”
“Yeah,” Lyle says. He laughs, but it’s awkward and empty. “She almost didn’t let me in, but then she suddenly changed her mind. What was that about?”
I glance at him. I know he wants to know why I dropped off the radar for several days, and why my greeting was so lukewarm. “Tell him,” a voice in the back of my mind says.
I kick it away. I’ll do it when I’m ready.
“Just a lot of stuff going on,” I try. “Look, did you want to stay for coffee?”
“Are you sure?” he asks.
I can’t help but think that it’s nice that he’s asking. I smile slightly and I see his shoulders relax.
“Yeah,” I say. After all, I wouldn’t have offered if part of me didn’t want him here. “Take a seat and I’ll make coffee.”
“Why don’t we skip coffee,” Lyle says. “There’s some things we need to talk about, I think.”
I glance at him. Things to discuss? No doubt he wants to know what’s up with me. Or maybe he wants to tell me about the secrets his hiding. I have to admit, it would make me feel better if he told me before I confronted him.
“Yeah,” I reply, heading toward him. “You’re probably right. I have a few things I need to tell you, too.”
I sit down on the couch and Lyle sits at the other end. We stare at each other for a long moment, willing the other to start. Now that we’re sitting here, I suddenly don’t want to have this conversation anymore.
“Did…something happen at the doctor’s?” Lyle asks, breaking the silence first this time..
“Sort of,” I say. “The doctor just…presented a possibility that I wasn’t expecting. It was a surprise.”
“So, are you healthy?” he asks.
I can’t help but laugh. It sucks that I would wish to be unhealthy over what’s actually happening to my body.
“Completely,” I reply. “Just a little nausea and some fever.”
My hand almost presses against my stomach but I stop it just in time. I don’t want to make him suspicious until I’m ready to tell him what’s going on.
“Are you sure?” he asks, leaning forward. “Because…”
“I’m fine!” I snap.
I instantly feel bad. He’s tracked me down to make sure that I’m okay, and I’m definitely not doing a good job of convincing him that I am, I know. I look away for a moment. When he sits back, I glance at him again.
“Okay,” he says. He nods to me. “Alright, I understand. Look, Amanda, I think you’ve got some things to work through. Do you want me to go? I can definitely go; maybe it might help you.”
What the hell? How is this guy even real? I ghosted him for four days, to the point where he chased me home, and he’s not even angry. And now he’s offering to give me more time to myself?
“Why the fuck are you so perfect?” I whisper, the words leaving me without permission. I move toward him as his eyes widen in shock. “It’s not fair. How the fuck am I supposed to make hard decisions when you’re making offers like that and reminding me why I like you so much in the first place?”
“I’m…sorry?” he says, sounding a little confused.
I can’t say I blame him. I slide toward him and I can see the way his pupils dilate as I get closer, his hips shifting uncomfortably. I think he’s aroused, and that thought makes heat sweep through me. To think that I can arouse him just by being this close to him.
Fuck, I want him. Now.