“Harder,” I demand. “Faster.” I need more, so much more. I need everything. “More.”
I knot my hands up in his hair and tug, I dig my fingers into his skin, I claw at him like a wild animal and that’s how I feel. It’s primal, hot, and sweaty. We’re definitely trying to communicate all kinds of things with this. Even the way his hands are cupped under my butt is meaningful.
I toss my head back, smacking it against the wall, and I cry out in ecstasy. Each thrust brushes against my most sensitive spots and it’s giving me exactly what I need. A release from this tension. My brain completely shuts down and I become a slave to the incredible way he’s making me feel instead. It’s phenomenal, I can sense the orgasm blooming and it won’t be long before it bursts in to life.
I fucking love this man. I allow the thought to come purposefully this time because it’s something I need to address. I fucking love him so much and I want to keep him forever. Or at least some of him…
I think of the necklace as my body shatters, the pleasure rocketing through it, sending me flying in to space. It might be time to get it back out, to have it and know that I claim some of him. I yell out and shudder, with Jace clinging tightly to me as I collapse and fall apart. He kisses me, sucking the air from my lungs, and swallowing up my crying out. The kiss bonds us, it tightens us together, and it reminds me of our bond.
I never should have doubted him. That was wrong of me. Jace can tell me not to focus on the negatives, not to think about the years lost, but how can I not? It’s impossible. Everything could be so different.
I wrap my whole body around Jace as he comes, my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist, and I lean into him so I can hear the hammering of his heart. I want to imagine that every powerful, ferocious beat is for me. That he’s as needy for me as I am for him…
“Oh wow, Addie, you really do something special to me.”
I smile and drop my feet to the ground, losing myself in his eyes for just a little while longer. I’m embarrassed, and that ice cold humiliation will creep up on me in a moment if I let it.
“So, erm… do you want some dinner? I could make something?”
“We could go out? I don’t mind buying something for you…”
I can’t imagine going out. I’ve been avoiding the world for a few days now and I’m not quite ready to face it yet. Even if I do have Jace by my side, my emotions are still all over the place. I’d rather just be here. Actually, that’s also because this is a safe place where no one can see us, write stuff online about us, or judge my decisions.
“No, I have some stuff in. I would much rather cook.”
I walk into the kitchen with him not far behind me and I open the fridge to pull out some ingredients and Jace helps me. His sleeves are already rolled up; it seems like he wants to help me out.
“You can cook?” I act surprised. “I didn’t think any rock stars knew their way around a kitchen.”
“I used to cook for you way back then, remember?”
“I do, but I thought you would have forgotten about that by now.”
“Hmm, yeah?” He chops up some vegetables like an expert. “Why is that?”
“Because you are a rich famous man now. You must have people to do everything for you.”
He turns to face me with a smirk. “So, you think I have a maid now?”
“Mhmm, and a shoe shiner.”
“Yeah, a personal blacksmith as well.”
“Oh, of course. You wouldn’t be able to get by without a personal blacksmith… for all your blacksmith needs.”
He grins and nods. “See, you get it. You understand my needs.”
“Oh I do, and that’s why I’m surprised you can cook!”
He laughs and shakes his head at me. “Actually, it’s more just take out and dirty clothing because I spend so much time on the road. But I do still remember how to cook.”
“So, the dirty look isn’t a rock star thing, then?”
“It’s a necessary thing.”
I turn on the hob and grab out a pan, deciding on a stir fry for ease purposes. Talking about dirty clothing and being on the road only brings up that nagging feeling that our lives are too different for this ever to become anything real. We aren’t in college anymore, we’re adults, and I have a firm life here. He isn’t ever here, he doesn’t even live here anymore. He probably has some fancy ass mansion in LA somewhere.
Stop it, I scold myself. This is all fun. Nothing too serious. Don’t get caught up.