“I… I don’t know what to say,” Patrick gushes. “I don’t know how to make this right.”
“It isn’t you,” I reassure him. “You’re wonderful. You have been wonderful. I just can’t see us going the distance. I think once we’re this far in, we should start looking to the future and I can’t see it.”
“It’s not you, it’s me,” he says this cliché as if this is what I mean. “I see. So, there’s no coming back from this? There isn’t anything that I can do to change your mind?”
I wait for a moment, almost as if I want him to fight, to see if there is a spark there, but he doesn’t. He accepts that it’s over so readily that it confirms to me that we’re done. Me and Patrick are comfortable around one another but that doesn’t make us compatible. That doesn’t mean we have the chemistry needed to make things last. I have a feeling that if we were ever to come across any hardships, me and Patrick would fall apart. We don’t have that bond.
“No, Patrick,” I tell him with a sad smile. “I have had a wonderful time with you, but our journey ends here. It’s time for us to go our separate ways.”
I don’t like myself as those words come out my mouth, I feel bad, but it has to be for the best. It has to be.
Chapter Twenty – Zane
“So, here are the keys,” William, the realtor that I’ve been dealing with declares as he hands them to me. “All the paper work is done now, so the place is officially yours. I hope you have a lot of luck here.”
I scan my eyes over the small inside area of the building, which will become the office, the large garage outside which will become the storage place for the bikes that I’m working on, and the land which I’ll use to work, with a proud smile on my face. This building is absolutely perfect for me, I’m so lucky to have it. It’s near enough to the town if I need anything and for people to pass by, but it’s also pretty remote too so it things are noisy it won’t matter. I’m a real lucky son of a bitch. Well, it isn’t just luck, I’ve worked hard too. I’ve put in a lot to get here.
I’m hoping that it won’t take me long to build up a reputation too, people will travel from everywhere to get their bikes kitted out by the right person. I’m pretty sure that I have the skills and connections too, I know it’ll be fine. My parents might hate it, I won’t be living to their expectations, but I’ll be happy and that’s the main thing. I don’t care so much about the money, I’ve seen the life that brings with it. I’d much rather smile all the time.
“Thank you very much, William, I’m very excited about this. I hope it does really well.”
We say our goodbyes and he leaves the building, leaving me alone with everything that is now mine. I fist pump the air in excitement, so fucking proud of myself. All the odds have always been stacked against me and I’ve defied every single one of them. I’m going to turn this into a very comfortable living for myself.
With a happy smile, I bound up the stairs to take a look at my apartment too. I have seen it before, but that’s before it was officially mine. Now it belongs to me and I get to really live here. I’ve been bumming around for a few days, couch surfing whenever I can just to avoid going home, but no more. Now, I’m a home owner!
I open the door straight into the small living room slash kitchen, I glance to the left to see the door to the bedroom, then to the right to see the bathroom, and I fist pump the air again. It isn’t much space, but it’s my own. I can decorate it as I like, I can do whatever the hell I want within it. I can have parties… well, maybe not that because there isn’t enough room, but I can play loud music, I can play video games until two AM without anyone breathing down my neck or the fear of college courses in the morning. Or I can just get a sensible night of sleep because I’m a damn adult and I have work in the morning, but whatever. I can do what I want.
I yank my cell phone out my pocket and I call Brandon. He needs to see this now. I haven’t told him anything as yet because I wanted to have it all in place now, but I do now. It’s time.
“Hey there, Zane. How’s it going, buddy? I’ve just got out of work thank God.”
“Oh, well that’s perfect timing. I need you to come and see me. Like, right now.”
“Where are you today?” He’s well aware of my situation and he has offered me a room at his house but I don’t want to be around him and Leah while I’m weak like this. I want them to know me as strong.
“You know the old scrap metal place on the outskirts of town? I want you to meet me there.”
He pauses for a little too long. “Please tell me you aren’t squatting because you have a room here…”
I can’t help but laugh at that. I don’t know why he’s so worried about me. I always land on my feet. “No, no, not at all. It actually belongs to me now.” I pat my business plan with pride. “Just come on over and you’ll see.”
“You own a scrap metal place? What the hell, Zane? What are you doing? Have you gone mad?”
“No! Honestly, just trust me. You’re going to have to come over and see for yourself.”
“I’m worried now. I think I’m going to have to call your parents…”
I know that he’s joking, but it’s still too much. I can’t even thinking about my mom or my dad coming to this place. They’ll tear it down from this inside out. I don’t want my good mood spoiled, I want to keep buzzing and flying high like I am right now. “No,” I snap. “Don’t you dare. Just come alone now.”
“Oh God, you aren’t going to murder me, are you?” he teases. “This isn’t going to be one of those things that you hear about on the news where the friend has a secret murderous plan in some abandoned place.”
“Yeah, it is. You caught me out. Damn, what a shame.” I chuckle. “But I’ll put the knife away and I promise to behave. I’ll kill you on another occasion when you aren’t as suspecting.”
“Fine, whatever. I’ll come. At least now I know you won’t kill me. This time.”
“Great, I’ll be expecting you shortly then. Knife is gone now, I promise.”
He doesn’t sound sure, but eventually he agrees with me that he’ll come and visit. Once he says that he’s going to come over, I smile to myself. It’s time to get some of my stuff inside. I have it all boxed up in the yard and I need to find places for it all. If it’ll fit. I mean, I don’t have a lot of stuff but I really don’t have much room either. I can’t wait until it looks a little more homely, a little more mine.