“I’m sorry,” she said, putting the keys in the door. “I just don’t know if I can do this.”
Chapter 8
Tiffany
The last place I wanted to be was anywhere near the office or Jordan for that matter. John had sent me a text, begging me for help. Their agency temp was not cutting it—well, at least not in the way I always got the work done. I had woken to the text notification and seriously thought about going back to bed. I knew Jordan didn’t know anything about this because he would have never let them ask me for help. He would have taken everything on his own shoulders, even if it meant he slept at the office. His pride was always one of those things that caused way too many fights in our relationship. The man just could not let go.
On top of all of that, I couldn’t get Jason off my mind. We had an amazing lunch and everything was perfect, even the kiss. That was the problem, though. It was perfect. Kissing my now ex-husband’s brother should not feel so right, without any of the wrong. No, I didn’t think I was ready to jump into another relationship, but at the same time, I couldn’t seem to get Jason out of my head. It had been the first time in forever that anyone had listened to me, really listened. Jordan had always seemed to be waiting for his turn to talk or to have half his attention on other matters. Ultimately, I blamed my relationship fears on bolting from the parking garage, but I had to admit, I was worried about whether I could resist Jason or not. One touch of his lips and I was a damn puddle on the ground. The last thing I needed was another playboy in my life who would dump me when I became an inconvenience to his lifestyle.
I picked up the phone and dialed John’s number, not wanting to take the chance of Jordan intercepting my call on the office line. We hadn’t spoken since we finalized the divorce, but I knew him all too well. If I caught him at a moment where he no one else to charm, he would get on the phone and make me feel so small. He had a way of doing that without making himself the obvious bad guy. It was part of his gifts, I guess, if you considered it a gift to be an underhanded kind of asshole. Part of me hoped John wouldn’t answer the phone. I had agreed to do a little bit of work, but even that made me feel bogged down and heavy. Sadly, to my dismay, John answered.
“It’s so good to hear your voice,” he said kindly. I could hear his personality in his tone, and instantly, I missed the family.
“It’s good to hear yours as well,” I replied with a smile. “So, you have some work for me.”
“I do and thank you so much for helping. I have arranged a car to pick you up in an hour if that’s okay,” he said wearily.
“That’s fine,” I replied.
“I’ve also arranged for Jordan to be out of the office at that time,” he said. “I didn’t want things to be harder on you than they already were.”
“Thank you, John. I really appreciate that ” I said with a relieved sigh. “It was what I was worried about the most right now.”
“Not a problem,” he said with a smile in his voice. “I’ll see you soon.”
“See you soon.” I ended the call, a little relieved to know John had thought about my working conditions in advance. Knowing Jordan wouldn’t be there lifted some of the weight of my fears.
No matter what happened between Jordan and me, I would never stop loving his mother and father. They were always welcoming, but when they found out my parents had been neglectful junkies and I didn’t have anything to do with them, they doubled down on making me feel like part of the family. I was really treated like how I’d always imagined a daughter would be treated, including shopping trips with mom, fishing trips and days on the golf course with John, the whole nine yards. They hadn’t forgetten me during Christmas from the get-go, even before Jordan and I were married. I was part of that family from the first word, something that was going to take a lot of time to get past. When you break up with someone, you’re not just mourning the loss of that specific person but the entire world you built around that person and everyone in it. For me, it was like losing the family I always wanted. Maybe the fact that I’d been so absorbed with his family was one of the reasons I’d been so blind to who Jordan really was. Either way, I needed to get over it and move forward, and maybe a little work was the thing I needed to do that.
When the car arrived to pick me up, I was ready to go, my coat pulled on tightly, my bag over my arm, and my nerves simmering in my chest. These nerves weren’t for Jordan, though. They were for Jason, who I knew would be there today. It had been two days since our lunch date, and I hadn’t called or texted him. I knew he was giving me space, but I couldn’t tell whether the butterflies in my stomach were nerves or excitement. When I pulled up out front, I took a deep breath, not ready to walk back into my old life. The guard greeted me kindly, always remembering me, before I hopped in the elevator and made my way up to the floor my office was on. Everyone greeted me equally kindly, but I could see the look of pity on their faces. Great. Apparently, everyone had heard about the divorce. I made my way swiftly to John’s office, grinning as I knocked on the doorframe.
“Hey there, mister,” I said in a friendly tone.
“Tiffany.” John hurried over and hugged me tightly. “Come, sit down.”
“Thank you,” I said, taking a seat and looking around.
“How are you?”
“I’m doing okay,” I said with a sigh. “Just putting things back together.”
“Lily and I want to say how sorry we are for the way Jordan handled all of this,” he said diplomatically but with feeling.
“Everyone needs to stop apologizing for him,” I replied. “He is the only one who hasn’t apologized for himself. It will be okay. We just didn’t work out.”
“May I ask what happened? He isn’t really talking to anyone about it.” John didn’t sound very surprised about Jordan’s lack of communication. I wanted to push Jordan in front of that train he was avoiding, but I also didn’t want to sink to his level.
“It’s personal,” I said with a smile.
“Understood,” John said shaking his head. “I’ll never ask again.”
“Thank you,” I replied.
“No. Thank you for not leaving. No one would blame you if you had.” He walked around his desk and sat on the edge. “This place wouldn’t run the same without you, as you can see. The temp is good, but she’s not you. We have gotten behind on these client marketing workups, and I want to take some stress off the poor girl before she has a mental breakdown.”
“I understand,” I chuckled. “It definitely takes a different kind of person to handle this position.”
“Well, I just want you to get back to feeling good,” John replied. “We miss you here and don’t know what we would do if we lost you.”