I could let him stew but I don’t want to. He already looks upset that he’s spoken badly about Jenny, not that he’s really said anything. “I know what you mean, she’s very different to me. She’s much louder and more confident. I know I’m probably too quiet for that job really, but I’m giving it a go, trying something new.”
“Well that’s really brave of you.” Ben looks at me like he’s proud of me, which only makes me laugh again. I don’t even know why. I feel like I’m a bit of a mess around him now during this one on one time. I guess it’s because this isn’t work anymore and I don’t quite know what it is. I think he might like me and I don’t know where that’s going to lead. It scares me and excites me all at once. “You’re facing something you fear head on.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” I give a modest shrug as a reply. “Thank you.”
“So what movies do you like best of all? I know it’s too hard to pick just one, so what genre?”
I can’t admit rom coms because that comes too close to my dream of something magical happening in my life, so I say the first thing that comes into my head instead. “I like world cinema. Especially drama movies.” I don’t know why I say that, but it’s too late. It’s out there now. “Right, well this is me so I suppose you’re out of questions now.”
Ben’s hands move up to my shoulders and he spins me round to stare deeply into my eyes. My breath catches in my throat, all of a sudden everything intensifies, I don’t know what to think. My head spins with a heady lust, I feel like my knees are knocking together in shock. I don’t know what’s going on here, but I don’t want the moment to end.
Then his lips crash against
mine and everything becomes all too clear. The world rushes around me, then stops dead leaving me and Ben alone in this utterly perfect moment that I never want to end.
Chapter Seven – Ben
I just kissed her and walked away. I walked Serena to her door, kissed her and left her like a gentleman. I didn’t even ask to go inside. I mean, I wanted to go inside, I fancy the pants off her and I’m a red blooded male who is very used to getting what I want the moment I want it, but I didn’t. I’m glad I didn’t as well. I think it would have ruined things if I did, I probably would already be bored and she would think I’m an asshole.
This way, there’s still intrigue, I’m still desperate to know more about her. It’s a new sensation that’s kind of delicious.
“Ben, are you even listening to me?”
“Hmm?” I drag my attention back to Mom and I can feel my redness tinging my cheeks as I realise that I’ve been caught thinking about Serena. It’s probably written all over my face that I’m feeling something different. I try to rearrange my features in a way that doesn’t look guilty, but I don’t think I manage it. “Sorry, Mom, I was in a day dream then. What did you say?”
“I was just telling you about my morning in the garden, but I can tell you aren’t interested. What’s going on with you?” She pushes my arm playfully as she senses what’s going on in my brain. “Is it a girl? After all our big talk have you actually gone and met someone?”
“No, Mom.” Why does she make me feel like a teenager? I hate that, I’m a grown ass man now. There’s no reason for me to revert back to an idiotic child when I’m around her. “It isn’t like that. I was thinking about a girl I met...” Also, I can’t ever properly lie to her either. It’s almost as if she can see right through me. “But not in that way. She’s just... nice.”
“Oh, Ben.” Mom looks too relieved for my liking. I already regret my decision. Damn her with her promise of home cooked food. I should have kept away. “I have never heard you talk about any female before. I mean, since Ally, of course, but that was a long time ago and unimportant now. So please, tell me more about her.”
I cringe inside. Lying would have been preferable to this. Now she’s going to plan some big romantic story in her mind and actually expect it to happen. It might become something between me and Serena, I don’t want to totally rule that possibility out, but I don’t want the added pressure of Mom’s expectation weighing on me.
“She’s just the girl I met the other night in a club, Mom. Nothing more.”
She tuts loudly and disapprovingly. “I wish you would spend less time in bars and clubs, Ben. It isn’t right. You’re a good boy, you should be spending your time in better ways.”
I choose to ignore that remark and get on with my story. I can’t deal with any of that right now. I’m happy with my life, if she doesn’t see that, that isn’t my fault. “I met her while she was working in a bar and I was out on a business meeting. We only talked for a while, but she seems cool. Just nice and normal, you know?”
Mom rills her eyes. “My goodness, she already sounds like the perfect girl for you. Are you taking her out on a date? Why don’t you call her right now?”
“Woah, hold your horses.” I chuckle awkwardly at her. “It isn’t like that, I don’t even have her number or anything.” Maybe I shouldn’t mention the kiss at all. I don’t want her to get carried away. “It’s just... she’s someone I met, that’s all.”=
“Right, right. So you’re keeping her a secret from me, I see.” She nods slowly and again I’m filled with the sense that she can see right through me. “I guess I’ll just go and get lunch then and we won’t say another thing about it.”
As she walks away I sit back further in my chair and I wonder if she’s right to be suspicious about me and Serena. I played down my feelings then for obvious reasons but she’s been on my mind the whole time. It’s almost like she’s a virus in my brain that I can’t shake off however hard I try. And more than that I don’t want to.
Maybe I should go back to the club tonight, to see her, I think to myself with a smirk playing on my lips. I am there all the time, it wouldn’t be too suspicious, and I’ll make sure I don’t get distracted again.
The only reason I let Serena slip away from me was the call from Mom. Now that I’ve seen her today, I’ve even taken a day off work for it, there can’t be any reason for her to call me again. I don’t need to speak to anyone else, I can focus all my attention on Serena. That sounds freaking amazing.
Maybe I will go, I don’t know. I’ll decide after this lunch.
“Oh my God, Mom what is that? It smells incredible.” Eating luxury food out all the time is nice, but there’s nothing like my mom’s cooking. Despite all the pressure she puts on my shoulders about practically getting hitched, she’s awesome to be around too. “Is that your shepherd’s pie? I can’t remember the last time I had that.”
“I think you were about nineteen.” The plates steam in Mom’s hands. “But I remember it being your favourite when you were little. That’s what made me decide to make it again.”
“Oh, Mom, what a legend you are.”