pushing back from sleeping with her boss.

“Tanner,” she sighed. “Look, last night was fucking incredible, but I don’t think I can do this. I mean, between you being my boss and my father hating your guts, I feel like this is a recipe for disaster. I want to be a part of your company, someone who makes a significant difference, and I want to be taken seriously. I don’t think anyone will take me seriously if they find out I’m fucking the owner of the company. I’ll end up falling to the wayside, being labeled as the girl who made her way to the top by sleeping her way there. That’s not the life I want. I think you are great, super sexy, and I can’t get last night off my mind, but I have to. I have to keep this professional. Well, as professional as I possibly can at this point.”

“Okay,” I said, not sure what to say. “You sound pretty resolute in your decision, so I’m not going to try to talk you out of it. I’ll see you at work tomorrow then.”

“Thank you for understanding,” she said with a sigh.

When we hung up the phone, I stood there staring down at the blank screen. Hell, I didn’t want to be understanding. What I wanted was to go to her house and rip off her clothes and melt that resolve right away, but I couldn’t. Not because her father was there, but because I needed to respect how she felt about it. Besides, maybe it was a good thing. I was getting incredibly wrapped up in this woman, in a way I had never done before. I was starting to forget things at work, not being as productive as I wanted to be, and catching feelings when she didn’t return my affection. I had told myself a long time ago that I wasn’t going to fall for that. I wasn’t going to get involved with anyone, especially not someone who worked for me.

My company had come leaps and bounds above what I had thought it would be, but I wasn’t at a stopping point yet. I knew if I stayed stagnant, if my mind fixated on other things, I would never make this merger work to its top ability. I had the opportunity to expand my company across the world, and that had been a dream I never thought I would be able to reach. For the last couple weeks, though, I found myself becoming complacent, happier to have Ava on my mind than to keep pushing through the stagnation that would happen every so often with the company. It was hard to spend over twenty years pushing every single day with unwavering motivation. Sometimes, it got exhausting, and I was pretty sure I was using Ava as an excuse to give in to that.

I shook my head and tossed my phone in my bag. I walked into the bedroom and grabbed some office casual clothing, brushed my teeth, did my hair, and looked at myself in the mirror. Through the aged skin and peppered hair, I could still see that young kid determined to make his dreams come true. Though I felt more like Dean than that kid recently, I knew it was time to step up my game again. One too many days off was a weakness, and I could easily lose everything I was working so hard for.

I grabbed my bag and left the penthouse, getting back to my normal schedule of working at the office on the weekend. I needed to do this for me, for the company, and to get Ava off my mind before I completely lost it for this girl. She had made her decision, and I had to respect that. Sitting around moping and wishing wasn’t going to change that. There was no time for crap like that in my life, and going into the office was what I needed to remind myself of that fact.

I walked out of the lobby of the complex and the cool autumn air hit me in the face. It was a beautiful morning in New York, and my office building was shimmering and glowing in the sunlight. I walked across the street and through the lobby of the building, waving at the normal guard. He stepped out of the office and walked over to me.

“Mr. Johnson,” he said scanning my entrée card. “I missed you last weekend.”

“Yeah.” I chuckled. “I got a bit distracted, but I’m back.”

I walked over to the elevator and got in, trying to act like everything was normal. Instead, thoughts of Ava were swirling around in my brain, and it was driving me crazy.

Chapter 12: Ava

It was the first time in my life that I woke up not wanting to pursue my future. It wasn’t the fact that my goals were almost overwhelming at times. It was the fact that I had gotten myself into quite the situation without using my damn brain. What the heck was going on with me? I had always been the girl who made the smart choices, not the willy-nilly, think with your crotch choices. I had a mix of emotions going on as I readied myself for work. I was nervous because I had fucked my boss, I was lying to my father, something I had never done before, and I had told Tanner I couldn’t see him anymore. On top of that, I could feel anger twisting inside of me every time I thought about him. My father, when he came over the night before, told me about the fight he got in with Tanner at the polo match. I didn’t know why he didn’t mention that when he was here, but I was almost livid about it.

He had come over without calling, which normally would have been fine, but he came over after having it out with my father. It was almost blatantly obvious what he had done. He had gotten pissed at my father and come over to my apartment and fucked me just to spite him. There was nothing more to that sex than his own selfish anger toward my father. I had been played hardcore, Tanner knowing that it would eventually all come out, whether I wanted it to or not. He knew that if my father found out he was sleeping with me; my father would be beaten down. I didn’t care how much my father held a grudge, he would never do something that low to Tanner. It was reprehensible on so many levels. However, I had worked too damn hard for Tanner to screw up my chances for the future. If he was going to use me as a pawn in this two-decade-old battle, I was going to use his company to push me up the corporate ladder.

I looked at myself in the mirror and put my shoulders back. I didn’t know what to expect at work that day, but whatever it was, I was going to face it with class and dignity. There was no way I was going to lower myself to his level. I had worked too hard to show I was a decent person and an excellent employee to let his petty behavior ruin that for me. I walked out to the corner to grab a cab with my spirit starting to come back. I spent the ride over thinking about all the work I could get accomplished that day. Tanner may be the CEO, but he wasn’t the only person I could impress at that company. There was a whole slew of executives who could be excellent references for the future. Not to mention the men coming in with the other company that we were merging with, none of who knew me from Adam. They would only assume I was as knowledgeable as I showed them I was. I liked to prove myself, and I felt better knowing I had the opportunity to do that with a lot of important people in the business.

When I got to the building, I walked in and rode the elevator up to our floor. By the time it reached its destination, I was feeling positive and strong about my day and my future at the company. That all changed quickly, though, when I walked into my office and saw a note from Tanner requesting that I see him as soon as I made it to the office. Fear flew through my chest, and I looked across the hall at his office door, which was shut when it was normally open. I put my things down and flipped on my computer, trying to breathe before going over there. There was a very good chance that after everything, Tanner was exactly the man my father had told me about so many years before. There was a good chance that now that I had turned him down, he was going to fire me. I knew that was illegal, but that didn’t stop it from happening on a regular basis. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him, and though I knew he was waiting for me, I flipped through the office emails, trying to bide my time a bit longer before I faced him.

If I got fired, I could blame him, but really, I had no one to blame but myself. I had been warned about Tanner my entire life, but I still decided it was a good idea to sneak around and take a job with his company. I had thought it was a good idea to flirt with him and sleep with him, even though it had occurred to me this was a very real scenario that I could face. I wanted to be angry, but I knew walking in there, he had the upper hand, and the last thing I wanted to do was piss him off even more than I feared he already was. Still, even after years of hearing about him, I couldn’t picture him being the man I was expecting to find behind his office doors. He had seemed ambitious and even ruthless, but he didn’t seem like a complete asshole.

I sighed. I couldn’t keep avoiding the situation because speculating itself was driving me even crazier than just walking across the hall. I stood up, straightened my skirt, and held my head up as I walked out of my office. I crossed over to his secretary’s desk and smiled as she hung up her phone.

“Mr. Johnson had requested that I come to his office when I arrived,” I said sweetly.

“Of course,” she said. “He’s been expecting you. Go on in.”

I took a deep breath and turned, staring at the office door. I stepped forward slowly, not wanting to go running in to my doom. When I opened the door, Tanner was sitting at his desk finishing up a phone call. He nodded at me and stuck his index finger in the air, letting me know it would be just one more minute. I looked around the office before taking a seat in the chair across from him and folding my hands in my lap. I tried not to make eye contact with him while he was talking. It was clear he was talking about the merger. When he hung up the phone, he took a deep breath and looked over at me, a friendly smile on his face.

“Thank you for coming in to see me,” he said. “I wanted to take a moment and talk about the other night.”

My palms were sweating, and I could hear my heart beating in my head. He seemed relaxed and professional, but I didn’t know what was going to come out of his mouth next. I was terrified that my career was over as soon as it had started. What would I tell my father? How would I explain all of this to another employer?

“The thing is,” he said, continuing. “I feel

really bad. I want to apologize to you for what happened. It was unprofessional of me, and I should have respected you more than that.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head and letting out a deep breath. “You don’t need to be sorry for that. I wanted it as much as you did. I’m a grown woman, and I could have said no.”

“I have positions open in other offices,” he said. “If you aren’t comfortable here, I would be more than happy to transfer you. You can do the same job but be based out of there and not here.”

“No, no,” I said relieved, my heartbeat slowing down. “I don’t want to do that. It’s not necessary. Like I said, you didn’t force me to do anything. It was an adult, mutual decision.”

He looked at me for several moments, trying to read my face. I could tell he wasn’t sure whether I meant that or it was just me being non-combative. He genuinely didn’t have anything to apologize for because, at the time, I’d wanted him as much as he wanted me.

Tags: Mia Ford Dark Desires Romance
Source: readsnovelonline.net