don’t know if we can have you living here with twins...”
“Dad!” Ethan jumps in, sounding stunned. “Seriously, Dad.”
“What? You can clearly see that we don’t have the room for two babies to live here and what will the neighbours think? This is a small town, Ethan, people talk. I don’t want everyone to know that our daughter ran off, got knocked up, then came running back.”
Holy fucking hell, this is rough. I can barely stand it. “I don’t want to come back here either,” I interject quickly. “That isn’t why I’m here.” God the thought of staying back here again for an extended period of time makes me want to shiver with sickness. “I guess I just wanted you guys to know.”
I push myself into a standing position. I need to get out of here now, this was a mistake, I can’t believe I even allowed myself to think this might have been a good visit.
“Are you going?” Mom gushes. “We can’t just let you go like this.”
“We can’t have her to stay either.” My dad was not letting me forget that.
“No.” Mom sits by Dad and she looks up at him. “I know that, I’m not crazy. I know it’ll be hell for Serena if she comes back. Everyone will talk about her, it’ll be horrible. What I think is we should give Serena some money to get her started.”
Mom and Dad stand up and they quietly leave the room so they can talk about it in private. They’ve always been this way. Every chat that they’ve ever had about money has been without me and Ethan in the room. I guess it’s because they don’t want us to worry, but we’re adults now. It really doesn’t matter.
I roll my eyes as they leave the room and give my brother a weak smile.
“This is why I can’t wait to get out,” he tells me seriously. “Everyone is so small minded here. I hate it. I mean, in my eyes you’re really brave. You have twins growing in your belly and you’re ready to take them on alone. That’s awesome.” Wow. That’s the first time anyone has said that to me. In a way it feels kinda nice. “The asshole dad doesn’t want to know, but that’s not important to you. You’re going ahead anyway.”
“Thank you, Ethan... when did you get so wise?”
He smiles but doesn’t answer me. Instead he continues on the same road he was before. “You should take the money that Mom and Dad give you and start again. Move somewhere far away from here. Make a good life for you and your babies.” He smiles down at my stomach. “I can’t believe I’m going to be an uncle, you will send me pictures when they’re born, won’t you?”
At least I have him. He’s awesome. I’m so damn lucky to have him. He’s been the one good thing to happen in this whole trip home. “Thanks, Ethan.” I give him a genuine smile. “That means a lot, and of course I’ll send you pictures.”
“Where do you think you’ll go?” he asks me curiously. “Any ideas?”
“Hmmm, that’s a good question.” I tap my chin thoughtfully. “I honestly have no idea. I could go anywhere...”
I do know though, there’s only one place in the world I want to be. It might not be smart, but I have to go back to the city. That’s my home.
Chapter Twenty Three – Ben
“Mom?” Is that her? I can barely see, my eyes are so blurry. I think that’s her though, it looks like her shape. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m sick of this,” she says while pushing past me. “I’m sick of coming into this house and seeing you in a mess.” I want to tell her to stop coming, but I don’t bother. It feels like too much effort. “You cannot tell me that you’re still drinking today for a business meeting. It’s ten in the morning. That pathetic excuse won’t roll today.”
I roll my eyes at her. “Mom, that really isn’t any of your business.”
She spins around rapidly to stare at me with nothing but sheer anger in her eyes. “None of my business? Are you serious, Ben? None of my business?” She steps closer to me and points her finger dangerously close to my face. “You left a girl who sounds perfect for you, who’s carrying your baby by the way which I know even if you won’t admit it to me, because you want to focus on your business. But you aren’t, are you? You’re pissing your life away in the next bottle you can find. You won’t even let me contact Serena myself. You’re denying me of the chance to be a grandmother. If you don’t want to be a father then fine, I don’t like it but you’re old enough to make your own choices. To keep me away is just selfish.”
“Mom, it’s been four months. She won’t want to hear from either of us now.”
“Are you insane?” she snarls at me. “Who the hell are you to make that sort of choice for someone else? You aren’t even giving her a try.”
The world is spinning around me, I need to sit down. I crash into the first chair I can find. Mom’s words twirl around me, but I’m still too drunk from last night to focus on any of them properly. “I don’t know what to say to you, Mom. I think by this point it’s just better for us both to keep out of Serena’s life.”
Mom sits down opposite and she gives me an intense look. It’s hard for me to focus, but her piercing eyes get through. “Can you honestly tell me that you don’t miss Serena? That you aren’t interested in the babies at all?” I shrug childishly, unable to answer her. “Then you need to make an effort. You need to clean yourself up.”
“I can’t, it isn’t that easy.”
Mom sighs loudly and she shakes her head. “Son. I’m going to tell you something now that I haven’t told you before, because I never wanted to damage your view of him...”
“Him, who?” I ask. There’s a horrible sensation in my heart that I’m not going to like what comes next.
“Your father.” Yep, I’m right. This is definitely something I don’t want to know. “He was a wonderful man, don’t get me wrong, and we had a great marriage... but right now, you remind me of him.”