Maybe that’s a bit too honest, but I’ve said it now. It’s out there. I would much rather him know that I’m here because I need the cash rather than him think I like it.
“Yeah, fair enough. I’m always in suits, I don’t know how to be casual. Maybe that’s my problem.”
Ring, ring... Ring, ring... Ring, ring...
I glance around, wondering where that noise is coming from. It can’t be me because I don’t have anywhere on my body to hold my cell phone. It’s safely locked in the work changing rooms along with everyone else’s.
“Is that your cell phone?” I ask Ben curiously. “It’s been going off for a while.”
“Oh is it?” As he pulls it out and he looks at the name on the screen, his expression falters. I already know that he’s about to leave me before he pushes his chair back. This is someone he needs to speak to. Thankfully because of the conversation I just had with Ben, I know it isn’t his wife. That would be really weird. “Hang on, I’ll be back in a moment.”
I watch him leave, admiring his butt as his quick steps move away from me. He’s damn gorgeous, and also the kindest person that I’ve met since I’ve been here. I’m not ready for him to go yet.
I stand awkwardly for a couple of moments at the edge of the table, but now that Ben is gone I can’t get away with sticking to this one table any longer. Jenny has pretty much got control of it, what with her flirting with Kyle like there’s no tomorrow.
I don’t want to go, but I’m going to have to if I want to make any money. Apparently the boss doesn’t like staff who stand around without doing anything, and I don’t want to get fired because of that on my first shift. I haven’t even made any tips yet. I need to at least give talking to other people a go.
I push my way back through the crowd when a man plants his big hand on my arm to pull me to his table. He has a thick Cuban cigar between his lips as if he wants to show how rich he is, and a group of men and a couple of young women who might possibly be escorts by his side.
“Yes, can I help you?” I ask through gritted teeth, trying to ignore the hot pain radiating through my forearm.
“Get us some drinks, love. That’s why you’re h
ere isn’t it?” He laughs nastily with his friends. My eyes discretely turn towards Ben’s table because I miss him like crazy already. “Come on, we want a selection of vodkas.” He gives me a horrible look. “Well come on then, get to it. You aren’t thick are you? I haven’t grabbed the arm of someone stupid by mistake?” His eyes explore me, but it doesn’t feel anything like when Ben looked at me. I feel self conscious and uncomfortable all over again. “That would be a real shame since you aren’t even the hottest girl here.”
Tears sting the back of my eyes, I feel terrible. If this is what I will normally have to deal with then I don’t know if I’m strong enough to hack it. I can’t even argue back, this is definitely the sort of place where the customer is always right. I don’t think the asshole boss will like it if I start standing up for myself.
“Yes,” I whisper. “I’ll get your drinks for you. I’ll be back in a moment.”
Come back, Ben. I miss you so much! You’re the only person that I ever want to work with here. I need you.
Chapter Five – Ben
I race away from the table only because I know it’s my mom on the other end of the phone. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, who I’m partying with, I’ll pretty much always stop them to speak to Mom. She needs me and I need her. All we have are each other in this world.
My dad died when I was just a baby so I don’t remember him at all. He’s always been like a ghost in my life, the man in the photographs and in my mother’s stories. Not someone attainable, but someone’s who’s always been there, affecting me all the same. His impact on me has affected my life from day one and I never got to know him.
Growing up in a single parent family, with a mom who worked every hour God sent just to give us a mediocre life, I knew I wanted more. I never wanted to live the same life as Mom and I wanted to make her existence better too. That’s why I’ve always worked hard, that’s why I obsessed over business and getting my qualification, that’s why I worked myself into the ground. I wanted to make a better life for me and Mom and that’s just what I’ve done.
“Hi, Mom, you okay?” I ask while glancing behind me to see where Serena is. I can’t see her anywhere. The only people still at the table are Kyle and Jenny. Maybe he’s finally done the decent thing and sent Rick home. “I haven’t heard from you in a while. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, yes,” her tone is warm but I can detect some loneliness there. I make a mental note to myself to make an effort to go and see her at the weekend. She doesn’t live too far away, just outside the city. I should be able to do it more regularly really, sometimes I get too caught up in partying. “I’m okay, thank you. I’ve been out with Vivian from Bridge Club today, we went shopping and for a coffee, so that was nice. Ever since her husband passed away she’s been struggling. I can help with that, you know?”
I gulp down the thick ball of emotion that lodges firmly in my throat. I don’t want to go down this road, not now, but if Mom wants to talk about Dad with me then I’ll let her. She might need that and if it helps her get through the day then so be it. “Yeah. You know what you’re talking about,” I rasp. “So it’s good that Vivian has you.”
“Oh I’m glad to have her too. It’s good to have friends.” She pauses for a moment and I can almost tell where her mind is headed. She has this funny notion that I’m the lonely one, despite the fact that my life is constantly filled to the brim. I’m always doing things, there’s never a dull moment for me. Why would I feel lonely ever? “So, how are things with you? Have you been busy with work?”
“Busy as always.” I puff my chest out proudly. “You know me, always got something on the go.”
“Yes... I know you have. What worries me is that you push yourself too hard. I just think by now you should delegate more and start taking some of your life back.” She only says this because she feels guilty. She doesn’t want to think that it might be her fault I work so hard, even though it really isn’t. I don’t blame her at all, I know that she did her best for us. “Shouldn’t you want to start... dating now?”
“I’ve been dating,” I insist. “You don’t need to worry about me on that front.”
“Well I don’t really mean dating. I mean settling down.” I roll my eyes, it feels like everyone is on my case about that at the moment. “I think it’s time you start finding someone to get serious about, don’t you? You need to find someone and settle down before it’s too late.”
“I don’t know, Mom. I’m not sure that’s what I want.” I might as well be honest with her. “I’m quite happy with the way things are.”
“You only think that because you’re out at the moment. I can hear the music thumping in the background, but what about when you’re at home lying in bed alone. Don’t you think it would be better to have someone?”