I sighed. “I’m okay, Mom,” I said softly.
There was a pause.
“Belle, I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re the best daughter in the world for helping me out like this,” Mom said softly. “I appreciate you and love you so much. I can’t believe I got so lucky – lucky enough to have a daughter who would do anything for me.”
My heart sank.
“Um, well— “
“No buts, Belle,” Mom said. “I want you to know how much I love you for doing this. I know I never should have had to ask you – I never should’ve had to put you in the position of helping me like this. But you did, and I’m so grateful. I promise that nothing will ever be this bad ever again, honey.”
“Mom, that’s just it. I didn’t— “
“Belle, enough,” Mom said. “I want you to take credit for what you did – you did a great job, and you helped me out so much. I love you, honey. I’m so proud of you.”
I sighed. “Thanks, Mom,” I said in a thin voice. “I just wanted to help.”
When we hung up, I felt worse than ever. I knew I couldn’t go back to relaxing with Alexa and watching my favorite movies. It wouldn’t matter – nothing had mattered now that I hadn’t been able to stand up for myself and tell Mom the truth.
With a heavy heart, I dialled Jackson’s number from the business card he’d given me back in the city.
“Hello?”
“Is this Jackson?”
“Belle? Is that you?”
I sighed. “I’ll do it,” I whispered.
“I can’t hear you,” Jackson said impatiently. “I’m in a bar. Can you speak up?”
“I said,” I hissed loudly. “I’ll do it.”
There was a pause – somehow even worse than it had been when I was on the phone with Mom. What was Jackson going to say? Would he be excited? Thrilled? Condescending?
Or worse – what if Jackson told me that it didn’t matter, that the offer had only been a joke. What if he told me that I was really and truly fucked?
“Good,” Jackson said. “I’m glad you came to your senses, Belle.”
I rolled my eyes. It sounded like he was talking about a business decision.
“Well, I don’t have a choice,” I said pointedly. “You said this was the only way you’d help me.”
“Right,” Jackson replied. “After your finals, I want you to come into New York City. You’ll be spending winter break here, with me.”
A chill ran down my spine. I hated that – I wished that my body would turn off, that I somehow wouldn’t think of Jackson as sexy. But I knew deep down that no matter what he did, I’d always be attracted to him. That was exactly the problem.
“Can’t we just go to a motel or something?” I whined into the phone. “Do I really have to spend the whole break with you?”
Jackson snorted. “Belle, please,” he said.
“Well, I mean, it’s not like you need me more than once.” I winced at the implication of my words.
“You’ve got a lot to learn, Belle,” Jackson said shortly. “I’ll see you after your finals.”
And with that, he hung up.
After I was done with the phone, I locked myself in my room, flopped on my bed, and stared at the ceiling. I didn’t know what to do – I didn’t want anything to do with Jackson, but I knew that I couldn’t back out now. That was probably exactly what he wanted me to do, too.