CHAPTER 10
LAVENDER
I wake up warmer than when I first walked out to the lake. That could be because I’m pressed to something hard, and judging by the heart beating beneath my ear, I’m curled into Ryder, his arm wrapped around my waist. We didn’t say another word last night. The heaviness in the air settled around us, so thick that all I wanted to do was fall asleep, and when I woke up, maybe this time, everything would rewind to four years ago. You know, maybe when my eyes finally peel themselves open, it’ll be because we snuck off and Ryder had his way with me.
“Fuck, this ground is not very forgivin’,” I hear his deep whiskey-laced voice husky from sleep whisper over my head, soaking me in his presence.
“Shhh, Ryder, don’t wake me up yet,” I murmur, not opening my eyes, instead gluing them shut.
“Ender, I’d love nothing more than to let you sleep all fuckin’ day, but you know that’s not gonna fly with our family.”
“That’s okay because last night, I decided I’m moving to Wyoming. Sailor lives there, and surely, there are fewer people willing to stab me in the back,” I admit.
“The fuck you will.” I’m rolled onto my back, Ryder holding the back of my head with his huge hand.
“I’m not ready for this, but if I do decide to move, it’ll be my decision, not yours or my father’s.” I open my eyes, and if that isn’t a kick in the teeth. Does this man not have a bad day, ever? Ryder’s jawline is sporting a five-o’clock shadow, and his kissable lips and eyes that can melt even the coldest of grudges are only inches from mine. If I’m not careful, I’ll forgive him way too easily.
“I’ll give you that, but just so we’re perfectly clear, you leave Ely, I’m followin’ you. Nothin’ stoppin’ me from going nomad or settin’ up somewhere else.” I open my mouth, ready to reply, when his lips swoop down on mine, hard and fast, appearing and then disappearing within seconds.
“We’ll see about that.” He hops up, hand out for me to use as an aid to stand up. I take it. The feelings I had deep inside me four years ago never left. I knew they wouldn’t. Ryder’s my soulmate. He’s always been the one. Now, though, I’m too scared he’ll destroy me this time, completely.
“Yeah, we will.” Ryder doesn’t let my hand go, not while we walk back towards his parents’ and my parents’ houses, and I’m absolutely dreading it. I do know one thing for sure—the second I start my new job in town, one not provided by the MC, I’ll be looking for an apartment. We walk in silence, neither of us saying a word, me because I’m choosing to not talk to anyone. I’d remain silent forever if I could, unless it was Sailor doing the talking, who I’m going to need to call as soon as possible.
“See you later, Ender.” We’re at the crossroads where he goes his way and I go mine, his lips touching the back of my hand before I can realize what he’s doing.
I don’t have the chance to reply because he’s walking away. I don’t take the chance for granted either. I watch his firm body, his ass that could rival a woman’s, and slow, sexy gait as he walks, hating myself for wanting to give in to temptation even if it’s only gawking at him.
“I saw that.” My mom greets me at the front steps of the house.
“Not like I was trying to hide it.” I sit down beside her, my head going to her shoulder.
“Oh, sugar, it’ll get better between you two. I’m not going to get into my relationship with your father, but he’s staying at the club for a little bit. We all need our space, you more than anyone, okay?”
“Thanks, Mom. I don’t know how I’ll ever forgive Daddy, though. Worst of all, I don’t know if I want to.” She kisses the top of my head.
“You just take it day by day. You’ll get there when you get there.” If only. It’s easier said than done.
CHAPTER 11
HAWK
“Church!” The word carries through the clubhouse, making me want to grab a beer for breakfast. There’s only so much a man can take until he’s had enough, and I’m just about at my breaking point when it comes to Shovel. Hell, maybe I’ll call Rage and see if he needs another brother, well, if Ender will go with me, that is.
I enter the room and look at the men surrounding the table, all of whom I’ve known since I’ve been born. Not a single one of them knows what Shovel did. It’s something I would have taken to my grave if it meant Ender still looked at her dad the same.