I place my file on my lap and try not to gape at the gorgeous library. Everything is beautiful and shiny. If I lived in such a house, the library would definitely be my favorite room.
We exchange a few pleasantries and Grace tells me that Logan is a good friend to both of them. When we’re done with the small talk, it’s my cue to jump into my presentation. As I talk, I feel myself relaxing. I’m in my element when I talk about work and I’m glad when they ask me tons of questions.
Half an hour later, we are done, and we agree on once-a-week classes in their home at the library. I’ve never done private, at-home classes, but the compensation makes it well worth it.
I’m smiling on the way back to the office.
“How was it?” Eva asks as soon as I enter the open room where we teach the classes. She’s getting ready for her class.
“It was great. They’re both awesome people,” I say.
“How is Kyle Brice in real life?”
I tell her everything from the moment I drove into their gate. Eva listens with rapt attention, and I giggle at her reaction to everything. I’m about to go into my office when a familiar face peers into the room.
“Mom,” I say surprised to see her.
“Mrs. Allen, hi,” Vanessa says.
I kiss my mom and we head to my office. “You never told me you were coming.”
“I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d pop in,” she says and plops down on the visitor’s chair.
Bullshit. I don’t say it out loud. My mother doesn’t just pop in but whatever brought her around will emerge. I ask about Jim. He and my mother are still seeing each other, and she looks at peace and happy. Lexi and I are keeping our fingers crossed that all goes well for her.
“Lexi told me about your visit to your father’s family,” she says in a softer voice than I’m used to hearing her speak in.
I nod.
“She also said that the two of you decided not to go and meet the rest of the family,” my mother continues.
“Yes, we did.”
“They are not bad people, Vanessa. I was the problem,” Mom says, surprising me. I’ve never heard her admit to being at fault and I lean forward to hear more.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want to get into the details of it, but I made it impossible for them to embrace me into their family. I was messed up inside, Vanessa. I’ve always been and if it weren’t for you and Lexi, I wouldn’t be here today.” She inhales deeply as if making that admission takes all her reserve of oxygen.
“I want you and Lexi to go for that lunch on Sunday. Get to know them. They’re a little different but they’re good people.”
“Why didn’t you say this to Lexi?”
“I did but she won’t hear of it. You know how she is when she gets something into her head. The only person she listens to when she’s like that is you.”
“They were so cold,” I say recalling the visit to our grandparents.
“They were wary. Don’t blame them, blame me. I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life but the worst one was taking you and Lexi away from your family. Your father loved you so much.”
“Why didn’t he look for us?” I ask.
“I changed your names,” Mom says. “And I went underground. I knew how to do that even back then.”
“Mom, these people were powerful and wealthy. They could have found us if they wanted.”
“It doesn’t matter now. I wouldn’t have given you and Lexi up and your father knew that. He probably decided to salvage his life and try and make something out of the mess we’d made.”
“I’ll try and convince Lexi.”
“Thank you.” She stands up and I walk her to the door.
Eva’s class is going on and I return to my office to prepare a program for Kyle and Grace. The conversation with my mother plays in my mind in snippets. She gave me little information about her life with my father’s family but I’m beginning to understand that it might be shame that makes her not want to talk about it.
Logan agrees with me later that evening as we are having dinner.
“It’s not easy to admit that you made a mistake, especially one that has affected your children all their lives,” he says. “It was hard for me to tell my family that I had a child from a one-night stand.”
I cringe as I imagine the scenario.
“Now imagine for your Mom. A lifetime of mistakes,” he says. “I think she’s right about going to meet the rest of your family.”
“I’ll ask Lexi. It’s all up to her,” I say.
After dinner, we wash up and relax in the cottage living room watching a movie and chatting. Watching a movie turns into a make-out session which quickly grows heated.