“For a few minutes only,” the doctor agreed. “The rest of you go home and get some rest. She will need her family. It will be a long recovery.”
* * * *
Royce entered his quiet apartment and poured himself a whiskey. He had wasted so much time trying to deny he felt anything but lust and like for Jessy. He had been a coward when he could have had her as part of his life. He wasted all this time denying her and not wanting to put himself in a vulnerable position. Now he didn’t know if he would be blessed with a second chance or not. The doctor had sounded grim. He was filled with so much regret he felt like his chest might burst.
He poured himself ano
ther drink. The burn going down his throat and into his chest was a welcome change from all the turbulent emotions inside of him. He leaned his head back on the sofa and his mind went back to his night with Jessy. It was all stored in his brain like an old home movie that one played over and over again. He had not touched another woman since her. He should’ve seen that as a sign that Jessy was important to him. Instead, he had been so focused on his own fears, telling himself he was doing what was best for Jessy. He was protecting her from being hurt by him.
They had shared a few drinks one evening and it had relaxed his brain enough to make him forget all the reasons he should not give in to his desires. He had wanted her so badly for so many months and he was tired of listing all the reason they were wrong together. He had brought her here to his personal space, when he never brought a woman home. He remembered that night like it was yesterday. The two of them naked together.
He had caressed her breast and cupped its fullness in his hand. His thumb rubbed over her bare nipple and he had been pleased by the sharp intake of breath. She had closed her eyes.
“I love the weight of your breast in my hand. You are so beautifu,l Jessy,” he whispered against her neck, loving the satin feel of her skin and the smell of vanilla. He swirled his tongue around the nipple and the soft, sexy noises she made added to his own excitement.
He felt his body react to the memory of that night and he wished Jessy was here right now with him. This time he would take his time exploring every inch of her pale skin. He would drive her mad with passion until she was screaming out his name and only his name. He would make sure she was so satisfied she would no longer find the need to go out on dates with other men. She would be too busy spending her days thinking of what he had done to her all night long.
She had to make it. There was no other thought in his head but positive ones. Jessy was a strong woman and matched him in passion. She had been so open and honest about what she had wanted that night. No coy games. His mind went back to that night again.
“I need all of you, Royce. I won’t break, I swear.” She had sworn to him. His heart had swelled with excitement until his chest felt like it was going to burst with pressure. He had picked up the pace and buried his face in her neck. He couldn’t even respond to her words. His body had been on fire. Every moan she let out only made the feeling increase. He had never been filled with so many emotions at once. Being inside of her had been amazing and exhilarating. His climax had been huge and overpowering but he would not trade it for anything in the world.
He could still remember how Jessy had rubbed small circles in his back until he fell asleep. In the morning she had left a note letting him know she had to be at work for a meeting. She had signed her name with a cute little heart next to it, and he had panicked. He had convinced himself love and hearts had no place in what he felt for Jessy. Lust and desire and nothing else. Now he would give anything to go back and do things differently.
Chapter 17
Royce woke up to the sound of the phone. He must have fallen asleep on the couch and now his neck ached from the awkward angle he had been in.
“Hello?” he answered groggily, trying to wake himself up.
“Royce. She’s awake.” Royce could hear the happiness in Jared’s voice and he felt his shoulders sag with relief at the news. He wanted to cry like a baby and maybe he would while he was alone.
“I’ll be right there, Jared.” He hung up and jumped in the shower.
It took him forty-five minutes to reach the hospital. Only Jared was in her room. She still looked pale as a ghost but her eyes were open. It was better than the alternative. He felt some of the tension leave his body.
He brushed the hair out of her face and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He smiled when all he wanted to do was cry like a baby that she was on the road to recovery. “I am so glad you’re awake. You scared the shit out of me, Jessy.”
Her eyes were still droopy, but she smiled. “I scared myself. I reacted without thinking.”
“Well you’re grounded forever,” Jared spoke up, and Jessy smiled. She reached out for her dad’s hand and he gripped it tightly.
“Sorry, Dad,” she whispered weakly, her eyes closing slowly as if she couldn’t stay awake. He looked at Jared with worry. She had so many wires and monitors hooked everywhere and it scared the shit out of him.
“She is on some heavy pain medication,” Jared explained. He must have been here all night. His clothes looked rumpled and he looked exhausted. “The nurse said she will be in and out of it all day.”
“Go home, shower, and change, Jared. I’ll stay right here until you return,” Royce suggested. He wanted some alone time with her. He needed to reassure himself that she would be okay.
Jared gave Royce a serious look. He kept his voice low so it wouldn’t disturb Jessy. “So what is going on between you and my daughter? She told me you wanted no part of her and she doesn’t need your wishy-washy ways, Royce. Don’t get her hopes up for nothing.”
“This has made me realize what a fool I have been. I let my bad experience with Trina color my thoughts for so long. I felt bitter because I was forced to retire when I wasn’t ready and Trina dumped me because I was no longer in the limelight. I told myself one failed relationship was enough,” he replied honestly. “But I am tired of fighting with myself, Jared. Life is too short to spend it in fear of what could happen. I love your daughter and I hurt her. I’ve apologized to her but I think I may have to prove it.”
“I can understand those fears. I never allowed myself to care for another woman because I was afraid of history repeating itself and I knew I couldn’t handle going through it again,” Jared admitted with a sigh. He looked over at his sleeping daughter. “You know Jessy loves you. She does a pretty good job of hiding it, but I have seen her sadness and her valiant attempts to act like everything is okay. Don’t play with her emotions, Royce.”
Royce looked at Jared seriously. “I won’t. I promise. I love her, Jared, and I am going to do everything I can to show her that. When I saw her hit the ground I felt fear like I have never known before. I would willingly have sacrificed my life to save hers.”
Royce put his hands inside his jean pockets to hide his anxiety. “It hit me like a splash of cold water how much I loved her and how I wasted all this time telling myself I was better off alone and away from the possibilities of being hurt and vulnerable. I know she is not shallow like Trina. I just want the chance to show her that I have changed.”
“Then I wish you luck, Royce,” Jared stated and left. Royce pulled the chair closer to her bed. He hated seeing her so pale and still. Jessy was vibrant and full of life. Even though he knew he had hurt her, she had plastered a smile on her face every day for the sake of the people around her. He was relieved he wouldn’t have to fight Jared to get close to Jessy. He had the feeling it was going to be the toughest and most important fight of his life.