Noah’s chest tightened with emotions just picturing her being violently attacked. A few inches deeper and she might not have made it. It made him anxious to hunt this guy down. There were no clues whatsoever, and that made it hard to find him.
“I’m guessing it didn’t go well.”
Noah sighed loudly. “She looked fragile and on the edge. Plus she still hates me.”
“I know you’re sorry for what you did, Noah. I even understand all your issues with heartbreak, but you crushed her, man,” Adam reminded him. Noah didn’t hear any judgment in his brother’s voice, but the words still wounded him. “Can you blame her for being bitter?”
Noah bit back an angry reply. He didn’t need to be reminded what an ass he had been. It played in Technicolor in his mind over and over. He could blame Cora, and he had plenty of times, but it was his fault for not showing Alana the respect she deserved. He should have sat down and talked over his fears with her. Noah had been fighting his feelings for Alana for what seemed like forever before breaking down and asking her out. Even then he figured after a few dates he’d lose interest like he always did. Only it hadn’t worked that way. Each kiss and touch deepened his addiction for the dark-haired beauty.
“I know I was an asshole, Adam. It sits on my shoulder every damn day. She didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Why is it we know how important someone is to us when it is too late? She could have died thinking she meant nothing to me. She could have died hating me. I feel gutted every time that enters my head. I want to pour out my feelings, but it’s too soon. She is weak and fragile right now.”
“I guess we don’t appreciate what we have until it is gone. Sounds cliché but true. Alana is nothing like that bitch Kari. She messed with your head really bad, and she wasn’t worth it, man,” Adam said firmly. “Liam and I didn’t like Kari. Neither did Mom and Dad. We like Alana. Alana is sweet, smart, and she worshiped the ground you walk on. If it wasn’t for that, I would have made a move on her long ago, dude.”
“Over my dead body,” Noah growled. He had seen that love shining in her eyes even though she never said the words to him. It had frightened him. Now he craved it.
Noah realized Kari had done him a favor by leaving town. If she had stuck around, who knows how long she would have led him around on a string for nothing. He could have wasted a lot of years following her around like a puppy dog.
“Maybe you can start slow if you’re serious this time, but only if you’re serious. Be her friend. I know she loves you. She did long before you ever noticed. Don’t give up. I was lucky enough to find that kind of love once, and I lost it. It’s no fun living an empty life, Bro.” Adam had been engaged five years ago, but his fiancée died in the same car accident that took their parents’ life. They had gone Christmas shopping in Dallas, and the car had slipped off the road. The accident had killed his parents instantly. Josie, Adam’s fiancée, had lived for two days before passing away. He had been quiet and sad ever since. He dated but with no intention of settling down. It was as if he had given up on love.
Noah felt his brother’s pain. He understood it better now. “It’s possible to find love again, Adam. You’re still young. Josie wouldn’t want you to be alone. She was as sweet as Alana is.”
“She was, but I don’t have it in me. Josie was it for me. This session with Dr. Adam was free. Next time I am charging you,” he joked, standing up.
Noah knew Adam refused to talk about his fiancée. Instead he buried is hurt deep inside. He worried about Adam, but he knew when Adam was ready to open up, he would.
Noah threw a bottle cap at his brother. “Have you heard from Liam tonight? Is he okay?”
At twenty-five Liam was the youngest Blake. He was an EMT and was working the night shift. Noah always worried until his brothers were home. Red Hook was not dangerous like a big city would be, but as the oldest brother, Noah liked knowing they were safe.
“I saw him at the house fire. He gets off at five in the morning,” Adam answered. He looked at his brother seriously. “If you have feelings for Alana, do something about it now. Quit worrying about the age difference. Age is just a number. I know thirty-year-olds who act like teens and twenty-year-olds who act mature. Think about that, Bro.”
Noah mumbled good night and stared out at the starry clear sky. He wondered if Alana was asleep or sitting on the couch, scared to close her eyes. He wished he could be holding her in his arms. If he had just faced his fears, none of this would have happened. That thought stayed with him long into the night. Regret weighed heavily on his soul tonight. He hoped another beer might ease the ache in his chest.
Chapter 6
Noah sat at his desk listening to the rain hit the windowpanes. A light drizzle had been coming down all day. Now that the sun was setting, the rain was getting harder, and the wind howled loudly. He twirled a pencil around with his fingers. He had a list a mile long of things he should be doing. Instead he sat here staring off into space, thinking of a pair of doe-brown eyes filled with sorrow and pain. He would never forget the way she had looked at him that night. Anger, yes, but worse was the disappointment in her eyes. It had made him feel two inches tall.
The day after his argument with Alana, he had confronted Cora. There was no need for her to go to the restaurant and announce in front of everyone that he had made a date with her. He could imagine Alana’s embarrassment.
He had made it clear to Cora he was sorry he ever touched her and he would never touch her again, even if she was the last woman on earth. She still attempted to change his mind, but he treated her coldly. He hadn’t dated anyone since.
His phone rang, and he picked it up quickly, happy for the distraction. Reliving the past did no good. He could not go back and change what he did. He would if he could. He had
to focus on the now.
“Sheriff Blake,” he answered.
“This is Alana.”
The soft, feminine voice affected his body physically and emotionally in two seconds flat. She didn’t need to announce her name. His pulse let him know who it was.
“Hey, sweetheart. You okay?” Noah asked, sitting up. He would love to be able to go and see her and give her some good news. He hadn’t been able to think of any good excuses to visit with her.
“Yes. Nothing is wrong. I just woke up, but I did remember something,” she replied, sounding very emotional and a little sleepy. He wanted to hold her so bad it was a physical ache.
“Sit tight. I will be right there,” Noah told her before she could tell him over the phone. He didn’t want her to be frightened when she talked about the robbery.
The skies were dark gray, making it feel much later than it really was. The sound of the rain was loud. He grabbed his raincoat and keys. He glanced at the big clock on the wall. It was four in the afternoon.