She shooed him out the way. “Move, boy. I’m trying to get me a glass of wine.”
“I brought you some apple juice. I’ll fix you a glass,” Ruxs said, pulling a small plastic cup from the overflowing sink to rinse it out.
“I don’t want no fuckin’ juice. What am I five years old?” She got her an already dirty wine glass and refilled it from the box of wine that sat on the top shelf in the fridge. “Why did you put all this nasty yogurt in my fridge, Armin? You know I don’t like it. Gosh. Stop buying this crap.”
Ruxs watched as she took the four containers of strawberry yogurt and threw them in the trashcan. He chose not to argue it this time. It would just escalate and he didn’t need Green seeing more than he already had. Fuck, he was humiliated beyond anything in the world. The house was a mess and the smell of smoke was so heavy in the air from her chain-smoking, you practically needed an oxygen tank to survive more than ten minutes in the small space. Ruxs’ eyes were watering so he knew Green was struggling too.
Ruxs began to run some soapy water to do the dishes and then he was getting the fuck out of there. But, he didn’t want her getting sick from eating off of dirty dishes, or rats coming in to eat on the old and molded food. He could feel her angry eyes on his back, but he remained quiet and concentrated on his job. He poured some more bleach in the water. She came over and stood beside him with her back against the counter, looking up into his face. He darted his eyes over to hers, not sure if eye contact was a great idea, but he did it anyway.
She was just staring at him. He watched her closely, thought for just a second, maybe she was going to ask him how he was, or what he’d been up to – the past twelve years.
“Hey, momma,” he whispered, a smile curving his mouth. “How are you feeling?”
Ruxs’ smile fell the moment he saw her eyes narrow and her mouth turn down into a disgusted sneer. She flicked the long ash hanging from her cigarette in his direction. “Don’t ‘hey momma’ me. I’d be great if you’d brought my damn carton of cigs like I’d asked you to.” She pushed off the counter and walked out of the kitchen, but not before he heard her mutter. “Useless bastard.”
Ruxs could not, for the life of him, figure out why he came here month after month and took this shit from her. His mom was long gone. The drugs had completely taken over her mind, her body, and her once sweet, motherly spirit. It’d been so many years. Why didn’t he just give up? Countless trips to rehab. Countless relapses.
Ruxs opened his eyes and shoved his hands back into the water, making bleach splash up onto his favorite, black AC/DC shirt. The chemical instantly ruining the shirt. “Fuck!” he yelled.
Green came into the kitchen. His steps were quiet and measured. He felt his strong hands land on his shoulders, his lips right next to his ear. “It’s okay. I’m right here with you.”
Ruxs’ body trembled slightly from Green’s touch, but more so from his anger.
“Hey. Look at me,” Green whispered. He was pulling on his body, but Ruxs didn’t want to face his friend. Didn’t want to see the “poor little Ruxs” look in those smoldering eyes. He needed Green out of there now. He couldn’t handle his mom’s bullshit and have Green in his face at the same time. Especially while he was still battling with his mixed feelings for him.
“Hey. Can you wait outside in the truck, please? Just five minutes and I’ll be done here. Okay.” Ruxs pleaded, speeding up his pace washing the dishes. He couldn’t lose his shit right now.
“No, absolutely not. I’m going to help you clean up.” Green pulled up his sleeves.
Ruxs was vibrating inside. This was disastrous. “No. No. I don’t need any help, Green. I’m almost done. Just wait in the truck, I’ll be right out.”
He heard his mom’s bedroom door open and knew she was coming back to finish him off. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“I’m staying with you. I can see what’s happening with you, and I’m not going to do that. I’m not gonna bail on you, man.”
Ruxs combated the tears welling up in his eyes. Goddamnit. Don’t you dare fuckin’ cry in front of him.
“Okay, y’all got to get the hell out now. I’m getting ready to have some company. Momma’s got her needs too,” she said nastily and Ruxs thought he was going to throw up.
Ruxs shook his head sadly. This whole situation was so pathetic. He was pathetic. But worse, he was pathetic in front of the one man that mattered the most to him. “Chris please go wait outside.”