“It’s a beautiful night,” she mused. “It makes me think of Debussy. Of Clair de Lune.”
“Why?”
She thought a moment. “Because it’s calm and pretty, but there’s a tension, too. Chicago is like those rolling glissades, isn’t it? You don’t know where you are, or where you’ll end up, but it’s…” She flushed. She always talked too much. “But it’s okay, I guess, to not know.”
He looked down into his wine a moment, then back at her. “I like the way you talk about music. It’s not just a piece for you, or a song. It’s an entire experience. Sometimes, when I’m looking for music for the quartet, I imagine in my head what you’ll say about it. It helps me think things through.”
“Really?” She could feel her blush deepening. Why was his gaze always so intense, so direct? It didn’t bother her during a rehearsal or a performance. She was used to his scrutiny as a musician, but now, on his couch with a glass of wine…
“I like the way you play.” She had to pay him a compliment, didn’t she? Because he’d just complimented her? “I like the intensity of it. Your virtuosity. In my opinion, you play with the same sort of fire as Paganini. I imagine that, anyway.”
“God, Ruby, please.”
“They called him the Devil’s Violinist, but for intensity, I’ll bet on Jonathan Gold every time.”
“How drunk are you? I’m taking that away.” He reached for her mostly full glass, joking, but she let him take it. She didn’t want him to blame the wine for what she said next.
“Jonathan…” She paused, gathering her nerve. “Can you tell me more about your sex thing? Your kink?”
“My kink? More like kinks, plural.” He turned and put the wine on the side table. “What do you want to know?”
“How scary do you get?”
He shrugged. “As scary as my partner wants it. That’s how this works, right? That’s how BDSM relationships go. But if you want specifics, I can tell you some things I really like.”
“Bondage?” she asked.
“Always. And sex. I like being in control, but I especially like having sex while I’m in control. I like to hurt my partners while they’re bound and helpless, and crying, if they can manage that.” He paused and studied her. “Freaked out yet?”
She wished she was, but she wasn’t. She was getting wet as hell. “That actually sounds pretty hot. Do you use a lot of gear?”
“I’m not a rope guy, like Ethan, but I like my gear. Cuffs and straps, bondage furniture, spreaders and chains.” He noticed her glance around the room, and chuckled. “I don’t keep it out here, but I have it. It’s in a special room.”
“A dungeon?”
“If you like to use that word. There’s no black velvet wallpaper or iron sconces on the walls, but I can do the things I want to do to the women who put themselves under my control.” He looked away from her, let out a sigh she barely heard. “I’ve thought about doing things to you.”
“You have?”
He nodded, then frowned. “I’ve tried not to. Professionalism and all that, but ever since you and Ethan… Well, he said you were a ‘crazy little pain freak’ once, just threw it into the conversation. Ever since he mentioned that, I’ve been thinking about hurting you.”
He didn’t hesitate over the words or try to soften them. He said it right out: I’ve been thinking about hurting you. As she stared at him, his frown deepened.
“I’ve thought about some pretty hardcore things as far as you’re concerned, Ruby. Bondage, punishment, sex, all of it rude and uncalled for. All of it far too intense. That’s why you shouldn’t be here.”
She took in his words and realized that was exactly why she should be here. She gestured to their glasses. “Um, I think I need the wine again.”
He handed it to her. She promptly handed it back.
“On second thought, that’s not what I need.”
He set the glasses down, his handsome features still more serious than sexed-up. “I know what you need, Ruby, and I want it too, but I’m worried—”
“Don’t worry. It’s not going to change things.”
“No, I’m worried about taking things too far, hurting you too much.”
“Can’t you give me a safe word?”
“I can, but in the quartet, you always push things. You don’t want to give in to me, not when we’re playing music. What if this is the same? If I give you a safe word, will you use it?”
“Yes.”
She didn’t even think about it before she said it. She’d agree to anything right now, and he knew it. He knew she wasn’t thinking, that she was just feeling, the way she did when they played a really wonderful piece. She put a hand on his knee. She never touched him like that, but now she did.