It’s fucked up. Loving her means to keep her at an arm’s distance, but a woman like Shayne would never accept that. She’d tell me to shove my fucked-up need to keep her away straight up my ass and fuck off with it. What can I say? The girl has a way with words.
My hand falls away and I mentally berate myself for being such a soft cunt. Shayne would never back down like that. She’d grab the fucking bull by the horns and force him to listen to her. She’s a stubborn spitfire like that.
Soft murmurs come from within the room, and instead of pulling away, I find my hand coming straight back up. The door isn’t closed properly so I give it a gentle push, sending it gliding across the top of the plush carpet.
My brothers lounge back in her bed, Levi sprawled across the end while Marcus lays on the opposite side, his hand braced behind his head. Shayne sits cross-legged beside him, and her gaze immediately snaps up to mine. Suspicion rises in my chest, but as I take in the scene a second longer, I realize that no one’s been getting their rocks off in here, at least, not yet. There’s no telling with Shayne. My brothers are hornbags and she’s generally down for anything they throw out there.
Not going to lie, I’ve never been so fucking jealous. Every night I hear them fucking her like they can’t breathe without her, but little do they know, the sound of her whimpers, gasps, and pleasured groans have me crippled, gasping for air. Every. Fucking. Night.
I’ve been lucky enough that she’s allowed me close, allowed me to touch her just long enough to keep the blood pumping through my veins, but I can’t do it anymore. I can’t be without her any longer.
It’s been a few days since we sat up on that hill, saying our final goodbyes to our mother, and there’s been a big gaping hole in my chest ever since, and while my brothers see straight past it, Shayne hasn’t. She sees me like no one ever has before.
Her eyes linger on mine and without a single word spoken between us, she knows why I’m here. She scoots across her bed moving closer to Marcus, placing her hand down in her vacated space and silently inviting me over.
I can’t fucking resist.
I push in past her bedroom door and my brother’s murmured scoff sounds through the room. “Look who finally made it past the door,” Levi grumbles, not bothering to look back over his shoulder.
Irritation stirs in me as I keep walking, but when Marcus’ gaze lifts to mine, my hand immediately begins reaching for the switchblade in my pocket. “What was that?” he questions, a smirk resting on his lips. “Your fifth attempt?”
The blade flies from my fingers, plunging deep into the pillow beside his face, making Shayne gasp in surprise. “Come and say that to my face,” I warn him.
Marcus goes to make a move, not one to back down from a fight, but Shayne puts her hand on his hip, keeping him grounded. “Knock it off,” she mutters, slicing a hard stare toward Marcus. “This is my safe space. There’s none of that bullshit going down here. Is that understood?”
Marcus rolls his eyes and settles back into his position beside her as he yanks my knife out of the soft pillow and makes a show of sliding it into his pocket, warning me that I’ll never see that particular blade again, but as Shayne’s eyes come back to mine, I couldn’t care less.
My brothers talk quietly between themselves, but it’s clear that Shayne has absolutely no interest in whatever the hell they’re talking about, her attention is all mine. I stride up toward the side of her bed, and don’t fucking hold back. I’m done with that shit. What’s the point of denying what’s so clearly in front of my face?
Dropping down onto the side of her bed, I curl my arm around her side and pull her down to me. She catches herself against my chest, her soft fingers splaying against my shirt and no doubt feeling the rapid beat of my heart beneath.
Her curious eyes linger on mine as I look up at her. “You okay?” she murmurs so softly that I doubt my brothers can hear her. “Do you need to talk about the baby?”
I shake my head. “As much as it kills me to admit, I think he’s perfectly safe with my father. He won’t physically hurt him, not while he’s still so young. The abuse didn’t start for us until we were able to understand what the fuck was going on.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. He’s a cruel man, but he understands that children are born innocent. He’ll have some poor woman working night and day to care for the baby, only checking in every now and then to ensure that he remembers his face. Then when he’s a few months old, he’ll start to nurture him just enough to make him love, just so when the time comes to destroy him, it’ll hurt that much more.”
Shayne closes her eyes, the reality of my father’s plan for my son darkening a piece of her corrupted soul, but as she opens her eyes again and looks deep into mine, her brows furrow. “That’s not what you’re here to talk about, is it?”
I don’t respond, but I don’t need to. She knows me on a deeper level than I even know myself, and I don’t know how the fuck that happened while I was busy pushing her away, but she gets it. She always has.
My hand falls to Shayne’s on my chest, and I curl my fingers around the soft skin of her wrist, feeling the steady beat of her pulse below and watching the way her eyes widen with understanding. “We don’t have to do this,” she whispers, giving me the out she’s so used to me needing.
My hand curls up around the back of her neck and I pull her down to me, feeling her breath across my lips. “It’s time, Empress.” The softest whisper escapes her lips before she closes the gap and brushes her lips over mine. She kisses me softly, too scared to push for what she really wants, knowing how quickly just a bit of pressure could have me backing right out of her room.
Shayne pulls back and her gorgeous blue eyes meet mine, seeing just how serious I am about this.
“Out,” she demands, her chest rising and falling with rapid movements as she holds my stare.
“Huh?” Levi grunts, his head snapping up to try and steal her gaze away from mine.
Shayne kicks her foot out, connecting with his hip and sending him sprawling back on the bed, and if she’d kicked him any harder, the fucker would have gone flying right onto the floor. “You heard me,” she says, reaching behind her to pinch Marcus under the arm. “That goes for you too. Both of you, out.”
Marcus jumps away from her as he whines. “What, why?”
A grin pulls at my lips. He makes it too easy to mess with him. “Because I’m going to fuck your girl until she forgets who you are,” I taunt him, knowing she’ll never go for the idea of just being mine, especially not now that she’s head over heels in love with my two asshole brothers, though I don’t know if she actually realizes it yet.