Hold on to Hope

I climbed out and gave in to the shiver of excitement that crawled under the surface of my skin.

I loved it here. God, I loved it so much. This place filled with so many amazing memories. Cherished moments that I never wanted to give up.

I went to the back, pulled out my bag, slung it over my shoulder, and grabbed as many of the food bags as I could manage.

“What can I get?” Jack offered.

“If you could get the umbrella and tent, that would be great.”

“No problem. Just glad I’m here.” His dark eyes roved over me, like he was looking for an affirmation.

Guilt twisted up my stomach in a thousand knots.

I hadn’t even invited him. He’d just assumed, which I guessed I really couldn’t fault him for.

It was long since passed time that I should have started including him in family events.

But the sad truth was that I hadn’t. That I’d never felt ready and I was pretty sure that I never would be.

That should have been a warning right there.

But you know what they say . . .

Hindsight.

Even then, everything felt blurry. A daze of discomfort and these flickerings of joy that Evan had returned to where he belonged hazing up my sight and my mind.

Messing with my head.

Mixing up my heart.

I headed for the trail that twisted through the full bushes and the soaring trees. A breeze whistled through, dragging in the scent of the purple blazing star flowers that grew rampant in the fields.

I inhaled, breathing it in, my ear inclined to the sound of the rush of running water.

Struck with so many memories that a part of me wanted to weep.

For joy or sorrow, I wasn’t quite sure.

All I knew was I felt this overwhelming sense of peace taking over.

The thicket of trees opened up at the end of the trail and revealed the expanse of the lake.

A calm, placid blue that stretched out to touch the base of the mountains in the distance.

I wound through the break in the rugged rocks that led down to the secluded cove and beach.

Massive rocks rose up on the right side. They went higher and higher until they became the cliffs on the north end of the lake.

At the highest point, the river took a tumble over the edge, and the roar of it filled my ears as it forever pounded into the waters.

Out on the beach, my family was setting up our camp. Voices shouting and laughing and a flurry of activity as tents were hoisted and umbrellas were erected.

Funny how my focus went to one place.

To the far-left side where Evan was working on putting up a tent.

Felt like he’d been there all along.

His red hair lighter, blonder than it’d been, the longer pieces whipping around the bold, striking angles of his face.

I knew he felt me.

Sensed my approach.

He recognized my presence the exact same way I recognized his.

Immediately, those eyes found mine from across the space.

Emerald fire.

He slowly straightened to his full height.

It probably wouldn’t have mattered if he hadn’t become the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.

My fingers still would have ached to caress his skin.

My body still would have begged to get lost in his touch.

And my heart . . . it would have always sung his name.

I could stare at his face all day except for the unfortunate fact that he wasn’t wearing anything but swim trunks and there was no chance of resisting that.

My eyes dragged down.

Slowly.

Was pretty sure my jaw hit the floor as they traced over his shoulders that had widened, across his pecs that were now muscled and defined and sending another rumble through my shattered world.

Oh, but those masochistic tendencies didn’t stop there, my perusal raking down to his narrow waist, his abdomen chiseled and strong from the hours he clearly had been putting in at the gym.

Oh. My. God.

My belly throbbed and need pulsed between my thighs.

I begged it not to go there, but my selfish gaze shifted to the center of his chest, to the scar that ran all the way from the top of his sternum to the spot where his ribs ended. It had faded more and more as the years had passed, that little line that held him together.

What kept that beautiful heart in place.

I had the overwhelming urge to trace it with my fingertips.

“Uh, Frankie. You lost?”

Jack’s voice jolted me out of the stupor. There was no missing the irritation in his expression when I jerked around to look at him.

Unease rumbled.

A premonition blew in with the breeze.

A feeling that I was right—this was a terrible, horrible, bad, bad idea.

“Frankie Leigh in the houuuuuuuuuuuuse!” my baby brother Preston hollered from where he was waist-deep in the lake, stealing the attention. “About time!”

And the only thing I could think was thank God for the distraction.