Cowboy Up (Lucas Brothers)

“Whoa. You okay, Doe?”

Blue. I’m not ready to see him. He’d left me alone for a bit, and I was hoping that was a good sign. Obviously, I was wrong.

“I’m fine,” I lie. “I’m just a little dizzy.”

In response, he picks me up and carries me to the bench. I hold my head down trying to stop the world from spinning. I feel Blue move in front of me. He has a hand on each side of my legs and crouches down. He’s so close, his scent washes over me. You would think that would make my stomach turn, but it doesn’t. If anything, it has the opposite effect. It soothes me.

“You okay, baby?” he asks so sweetly that my heart squeezes in my chest.

I’ve seen Blue a lot since I moved back to Mason—and most of that hasn’t been by choice. He’s treated me with anger, disdain and sometimes it felt like pure hate. Sweet and gentle? Never. It’s as intoxicating as it is terrifying. I’m not equipped for it. For a minute, it brings back memories of when we were younger and the bittersweet ache that blooms inside of me robs my breath.

“I’m okay,” I murmur.

He reaches up and tucks some of my hair behind my ear. His hand moves along the side of my face briefly. The heat of his touch moves through me like a hot lava flowing through my blood, burning me with its intensity.

“You stay here. I’ll put the garbage in the bin,” he orders with a smile.

I don’t respond, I’m not sure what I’d say. Instead, I watch him walk away. I try not to notice how great his firm ass looks in those jeans, or the way that chambray, button-up shirt stretches across his back and wide shoulders. A man shouldn’t look that good. It truly should be against the law. Especially when he is lethal to my common sense.

I watch as he puts the garbage in the bin. That bag seemed huge to me, but I swear when he picks it up the dang bag looks like it’s just a little bigger than a shopping bag. I sigh. It probably shrunk at the sight of him. Lord knows I want to shrink out of the way when Blue is around. I know how pathetic that sounds, but it’s true just the same.

I get so lost in my thoughts that I lose track of him. I shake my head to focus and realize he’s not walking toward me. He’s at the shelter. I frown. I soon realize he’s fiddling with the “be back soon” sign I keep on the window.

“What are you doing?” I ask as he makes it back to me.

“Have you had lunch?” he asks, making my frown deepen.

“Not yet. It’s not been that long since breakfast.” I don’t bother hiding that I’m finding his questions annoying. None of this is his business, and I don’t know how to deal with him being here, trying to insert himself into my life. It’s making me panic—mostly because there’s a big part of me that has always longed for him.

“Doe, baby, it’s two in the afternoon.”

“So? I don’t normally even have lunch,” I grumble because I didn’t realize how late it was. Mom and Ida Sue slowed me down a little today.

“How about I take you out for lunch, and we have that talk you’ve been putting off?”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Blue.”

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong. You haven’t eaten. You’ve been dizzy, and you’re losing weight. You need food, Doe.”

“But—”

“And if we’re going to be co-parents, we need to get to know one another again. We need to spend time together.”

“You make it sound so simple, but it’s not, Blue,” I mumble with a sigh.

“It can be, if we make it.”

“I don’t see how. I mean it was just a few weeks ago you were acting like you would be happier if you never laid eyes on me again.”

“You won’t believe me, but nothing could be farther from the truth. I have an offer for you, though.”

“What kind of offer?” I ask hesitantly. Blue stands and sits beside me. My mind immediately goes blank. I feel his leg pressed against mine, and all thought stops. I’m frozen. My blood rushes and echoes in my ears. My heart kicks into overdrive. It only gets worse when he takes my hand in his and holds it.

“Look at me, Doe.”

“I don’t think I want to,” I answer honestly.

He curves his hand against the side of my neck, then slowly so that I can feel his fingers glide against my skin, moves until his fingers wind under my chin. He applies pressure until I’m forced to raise my head slightly, and my eyes find his. I knew it was a mistake because there’s an earnest look there. There’s a sweetness that I remember but haven’t seen in years.