Cowboy Up (Lucas Brothers)

“Let’s put the past in the past and start over. Just you and me moving forward seeing what happens.”

“Life doesn’t work that way, Blue.”

“It does if you want it to. C’mon, baby, try it for me.”

“I’m not sure I can. I don’t trust you,” I breathe. Those words were heavy on my tongue. My heart is racing. He doesn’t realize what he’s asking of me. There’s no way he could know.

“Fair enough but think of what the reward could be for us and our children if it works out.”

“Our children?” I ask, fear and shock warring with one another.

His warm hand slides against my stomach, and I don’t move. There’s so much tenderness on his face that he’s almost like another person.

“For Adam, and the baby we’re having together. There’s more than just you and me to consider now.”

“Are you purposefully trying to confuse me?”

“Will that make you go to lunch with me?” he says with a sexy grin—that I shouldn’t find appealing but do.

“Will you stop asking if I say no?” I hedge.

“Probably not,” he answers grinning good naturedly.

“Fine. I’ll go to lunch.”

“That’s the spirit,” he says, standing up and reaching his hand out to me.

I stare at him for a minute before putting my hand in his. “Not really. I’m only agreeing because I’m pretty sure after spending an hour together the old Blue will show, and this will be over before it begins.”

“Why, Doe, that sounds like a challenge.”

“Nope, just the truth,” I respond—praying I’m right.

He surprises me even more by laughing.

I might be in trouble.

Chapter 19

Blue

It’s something I’ve always known, but I try hard not to acknowledge at times. My mother is almost always right. This lunch with Meadow has been the best time I can remember having in forever. Meadow is even smiling—cautiously, but still…

“Don’t you have hay to bale or something today?” she asks, moving her French fries around in her plate, but not really eating them.

I reach over and grab one and pop it into my mouth.

“Hey! That’s rude, Moonie.”

I grin bigger, not even caring that she’s using that godawful name. “You didn’t seem to be eating it.”

“I was going to,” she argues, blushing. We both know she wasn’t, but I don’t mind calling her bluff. I reach down and grab another one and bring it to her lips. She pulls back, and I bring it up in a circle. “Here comes the airplane, you better open the hangar door,” I warn her before making a sound like a plane.

“Seriously?” she squeaks, laughing even though I can tell she’s trying not to.

I move the fry around in a circle. “I’m coming in hot,” I warn her, and she opens her mouth, but only because I think she’s afraid I’ll smush it on her face. I wink at her while she chews.

She wipes her mouth on a napkin and rolls her eyes at me. “What was that?” she asks, shaking her head.

“I’m practicing up on how to get a child to eat when he’s being—as my mom would put it—ornery.”

“I’m not doing that, and I’m not a child, Blue.”

“I know, Doe. Believe me, I know.”

“What is your overall goal here? I mean besides actively being a part of your child’s life?” she asks.

I lean back from the table, watching her, appraising the way she’s holding her body, and the look on her face. I suppose I’m trying to see if she’s ready for the full truth. There’s a reason I gave Meadow the nickname Doe. Yeah, it shortens her name, and she’s got these fucking Bambi eyes that get me hard just looking at her—but it’s more than that. She’s skittish as hell. She’s always been that way. I suppose that’s why it surprised me she married her ex so quickly—why I thought I had more time.

“My overall goal is to rebuild our relationship, Doe.”

“Blue—”

“And before you lose your mind on me,” I laugh, trying to head off the panic I see brewing on her face. “If that ends in just friendship, that’s fine. I just want you back in my life.”

It’s okay to lie if you add in truth, too, right?

“Why?” she asks, and she looks so lost that I decide to just give her the truth—again.

“Because I’ve missed you for so many years, Doe. Too damn many. I don’t want to go another one. I don’t want to be your enemy any longer. I think if you are honest with yourself and with me, that’s the last thing you want, too.”

“So, we’re going to put the past behind us and what? Just start over?”

“Is that so hard to imagine? You can’t deny there’s a heavy attraction between us and only some of that is sexual. We fit, Doe. We always have.”

“There’s more than just us involved now, Blue. I can’t have Adam hurt. He had a father who constantly made him feel he wasn’t good enough. Clark may have tried to fix that when he got sick, but some things you can’t erase. You can only push past them. The wounds always remain.”