“Do you really think I’m the kind of guy that would hurt a child in any way?”
“Adam is a reminder of when I sent you away and chose Clark,” she replies, her cheeks going pink. She shifts uncomfortably. I know she doesn’t like to discuss that night. Hell, I don’t either. I had spent months without Meadow, trying to figure out what it was I wanted, only to discover it had been her all along.
“Something is bothering me, Doe. You keep saying one of the reasons. What were the others?” I see the exact moment pain hits her. It flashes in her large, expressive eyes and moves over her face. It doesn’t last long. She locks it down quickly. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought I imagined it.
“I thought we agreed to leave the past in the past, Blue?”
“You brought it up, baby. I was just following your lead.”
“Clearly a mistake,” she mutters. and she looks adorable—even put out.
“I tell you what. I’ll let it drop if you do one thing for me.”
“What’s that?” she asks, hesitantly.
“Go out with me Saturday night.”
“I can’t.”
I push my hand through my hair, beating down my frustration. Letting her see that is the last thing I need here. I have to find a way to break through to her. That’s going to be next to impossible if she’s not going to let me in.
“Meadow—”
“Adam is having a sleepover. River is coming over along with Jenna Wade’s boy, Tommy.”
“You’re saying you’re going to have a house full of kids?”
“Well, it’s been fuller, but yeah,” she laughs.
“Fine. I’ll come over with pizza.”
“I… You’ll what?” she asks, clearly shocked.
“I’ll bring pizzas and sodas and come over and help you.”
“Blue, that’s sweet and all, but this isn’t Adam’s first sleepover. I think I can handle it alone.”
“You can, but there’s no point. We’ll be fine,” she says stubborn as ever.
“Maybe I just want to. Besides, you will work all day and then you have stuff with your mom. I want to help.”
“Blue—”
“C’mon, Doe. Give this a chance. Let me bring the boys some pizza and you and your mom some spaghetti. It’s a simple thing to do. and it will make things easier for you.”
A smile plays on her lips. “What makes you suggest spaghetti?”
“Your mom loves it, and you eat pizza, but it has never been your favorite. You eat it if others want it, so you can save money.”
“How on earth do you know that?”
“I’ve been watching you, Doe.”
“I know I’ve felt the hate coming off of your stare,” she grumbles.
“Then you were feeling the wrong emotion.”
“What emotion were you feeling if it wasn’t hate?”
I look at her. I could tell her that I did my best to turn it into hate because needing her was slowly killing me—hell, it still is. I don’t think she’s ready to hear that just yet. So, I give her honesty, while skirting the heavier issues.
“I was horny.”
Her eyes go wide, dilating, and full of shock. She lets out a little squeak. “You did not just say that!”
“But I did. I want you, Doe. I’ve always wanted you. Time hasn’t changed that. Hell, if anything, it’s made it stronger.”
“Blue, I think if anything our past has shown us, it’s that I’m not the woman you need.”
“Me and my cock disagree with you, baby.”
“Blue!” She hisses, looking around us to see if anyone heard me. I hate to tell her they probably did, and I don’t give a damn. The whole damn town already knows anyway.
“Just being honest. I guess we better get back. We can stop by the school and pick up Adam.”
“I don’t want to pick him up early her—”
“They get out of school in thirty minutes, honey,” I tell her, and again she seems surprised. Maybe she didn’t realize we had been talking this long. I have to admit it flew by, but I expected it. When I’m with Meadow, the rest of the world fades away.
“I’m not sure it’s a good thing to let Adam think we’re dating, Blue.”
“But we are,” I point out, and the tips of her ears begin deepening in color.
“I did not agree to that.”
“We went out to lunch together, and I’m coming to your house Saturday,” I argue.
“That doesn’t mean we’re dating—”
I lean in so this next part can only be heard by her. My lips graze the shell of her ear, and she goes completely still. “I’ve fucked you hard, and I want to again. You’re carrying my baby and God’s truth, Doe, knowing that makes me feel like a damn king. We’re dating, and if you will just hold on, I’ll make sure you don’t regret it.”
“I’m just as sure that I’ll end up regretting all of this,” she responds, her voice soft, her breathing ragged.
“We’ll see,” I tell her, already knowing I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that doesn’t happen.