“That’s months away still.”
I don’t look up; Mason’s delayed response tells me he’s growing curious.
“Yeah, but you’ve got a lot of work leading to it. Shit, the Senior Bowl is just a few weeks away now. You probably fly out—”
“I’m not going.”
From her place on the ground, Cameron spins, facing me, but I don’t look up.
I run my fingers over Ari’s, brushing along the smooth lilac nail polish Cam painted on for her.
“You mean you’re not going too early to get familiar… just waiting until game day?”
“I told Coach Rogan to give my spot to someone else. I’m not going.” I turn Ari’s hand over, gliding my fingertips along her inner palm the way the nurse suggested. “Pulled out of Pro Day, too.”
“Oh my god,” Cameron mumbles, Mason’s voice nearly cutting her off.
“Wait a fucking minute,” he snaps.
I look up.
Mason glares, Cameron stares wide-eyed, and Chase frowns at the floor.
“You did what now?” Mason tips his head.
“Don’t.” I speak as sternly as I can manage. “I already got shit from every coach on payroll, and the rest of the staff, for that matter, including the trainers. It’s done. End of story.”
“Noah, man.” Mason furiously shakes his head. “Don’t do this. You worked your ass off for Avix and earned this shit. Not to mention all your years of high school and youth ball. Don’t let that go. You’ll regret it.”
“Regret?” I don’t mean to laugh, but that’s what happens. “Regret?” I deadpan.
“Noah, damn it—”
“You think I give a shit about my football career right now?” My voice raises an octave with every word, and I release Ari’s hand to protect her from the anger vibrating through me. “You think I’ve thought about it since I’ve been here? Since she has been here? Because I haven’t, not fucking once.”
“I get that this is fucked up and shit’s not normal right now, ok. Don’t fucking forget that is my sister lying there!” Mason shouts, pointing his finger at Ari. “But don’t think for one fucking second that this is what she would want you to do, because it’s not.” He’s standing right in front of me now. His glare is sharp, but his entire face falls, as does the pitch of his voice. “It’s not, man.” His eyes soften just a bit, and his voice lowers. “It’s not man. She wouldn’t want this for you.”
I just stare at him a minute, slowly nodding.
“I hear you. Honest, I do, and I know you’re right, but if there’s ever a time for me to be selfish, this is it. Because despite what she or anyone else might think is right for me right now, there is no way in this fucked-up world we’re currently living in that I could go out on that field and do a damn thing while my reason for breathing is lying here.” I shake my head slightly. “My regret would come from leaving her, not from staying. I could never regret being where I am right now. This is where I belong. This is where I’m staying. Nothing changes that and nothing is more important.”
Mason’s jaw flexes, his brows caving. He reaches out, clamping my shoulder, and gives me a little shake. “That right there, my man, is why I haven’t kicked your ass yet,” he says on a chuckle, making the rest of us join in.
The mood settles a moment, and everyone goes back to what they were doing a moment before, so I take a deep breath, swallowing a few mouthfuls of warm coffee.
“You realize it doesn’t matter if you pulled out of Pro Day, right?” Chase says, not bothering to take his eyes off the TV. “You already completed your college eligibility, and you were already confirmed as a prospect.” He looks my way. “The compliance department already signed off with a big green go. You’re in it.”
I hold his gaze until he looks away, only then dropping mine to my lap, forced to consider his words.
He’s not wrong. I know what I was signed up for, just like I know who’s interested.
I also know I’ll pass on every single offer that comes in.
Lifting Ari’s hand, I lean forward and bring it to my mouth, placing a small kiss along her knuckles. My eyes close and I press them a little firmer, cupping her hand with both of mine, speaking against her skin without a word whispered.
I imagine her thumb brushing along mine, just as it does.
My body goes stiff, my eyes flying open. I don’t dare move.
Don’t dare speak.
Her thumb twitches once more, and my head darts up. I jerk closer.
The others fly from their seats.
“What?! What’s wrong?!”
“What is it?!”
“Noah!” Mason snaps.
“She—” I shake my head, not taking my eyes off her face. “She moved. Her hand. She moved.”
My eyes fly from her face to her hand, back and forth, and her wrist jerks next.