With a nod, I held up my arms, feeling like a toddler silently asking a grown-up to hold me. Obliging, Brandt swept forward, paused at the sink so I could wash my hands, and then he carried me back to my room.
Once we were bundled back under the sheets together, he became my cuddling best friend again, tugging me close and lying on his back to stare up at the ceiling as he took my hand and interlaced our fingers. With his thumb playing with mine and his gaze fixed on my ceiling, he murmured, “It feels extra quiet without your brother, and Reese, and the twins around.”
I nodded, watching his face and wondering what was really going on in his mind. He seemed too preoccupied with phasing out to have seen my nod, though, so I also said aloud, “Yeah, it does.”
“I wonder if this is how it’d be if we lived together.”
Everything inside me froze. But seriously, had he just said...
Live together?
My pulse jerked into overdrive and my mind whirled. I’d be lying if I claimed I never dreamed of such things. Brandt was the man I wanted to be with until I was old and gray, rocking our grandbabies on our front porch swing together. But to hear him say anything in line with my biggest, deepest wishes was just...bizarre.
Forcing myself not to get my hopes up, I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I answered, honestly. “Probably.”
He nodded, not really responding, too busy thinking. And now I really wanted to know what thoughts were whir
ling through his head.
Then he said, “Do you ever wish you’d met your dad?”
“What?” I blinked, thrown off track again. But where the heck had that come from?
He turned his gaze to me. “Just curious. I was thinking how alike we were. You know, brought up by worthless single moms until our big brothers took us in, and dads who’ve never been in the picture. So, I don’t know...it made me wonder if you ever thought about your dad: what he was like and if you ever wanted to meet him.”
“I don’t know,” I murmured, still trying to catch up with his complete turn in thought process. “Probably not. I heard Mason tell Reese once that my dad left as soon as they found out about my CP.”
“Bastard,” Brandt hissed, his face going dark.
“So...no, I doubt I’d ever want to find him or meet him. Mason has been more than enough of a surrogate dad to me for me to ever want the biological one.”
“Yeah,” Brandt murmured thoughtfully, nodding. “That’s pretty much how I feel too. I have no desire whatsoever to even look mine up.”
“Then why did you mention it?” I turned on my side, hoping he’d tell me why his mind was skipping around so much.
But he only shrugged and returned his attention to the ceiling. “I don’t know. I guess I was just feeling reflective. Thinking forward, thinking about the past. Just...thinking.”
Unable to handle it a second longer, I placed my palm warmly against his temple. “What the heck is going on in here, Brandt Gamble? Are you having doubts?”
“What?” He gaped. “Fuck no. Just the opposite, actually. I was feeling grateful I have you in my life. So I was thinking about where we’d come from and where we were going from here. That’s all.”
“And...” I shook my head, trying to ignore the ball of worry growing in my stomach. “Where are we going from here?”
He grinned. “No clue. But as long as we’re going there together, I decided I don’t care. I’m just going to enjoy the ride.”
My stomach settled, and a smile eased onto my lips. “Does sex always make you this philosophical?”
With a laugh, he tugged me against him until my cheek was nestled in its designated spot over his heart. Then he kissed my temple. “Just with you. I think I’m going to name your pussy Aristotle.”
I pinched his nipple. “Do it and die, buddy.”
“Ouch!” Playfully pushing my hand off him, he buried his face in my hair and chuckled. “Plato?”
“God, no! That sounds like Play-Doh. My vagina is not Play-Doh!”
He roared with laughter before smoothing his hand over my hip and trying to squirm it between my legs. “I don’t know; I sure like playing with it.”
“Brandt!” I shoved his hand away and tried to attack him, but he rolled me on my back and pinned me to the bed before pressing his laughing lips to my indignant ones. And yep, I couldn’t stay miffed after that.