“You’re dating Rex Gunner?” Lillith drew in a sharp breath, totally taken aback.
“Is that such a surprise?” I didn’t mean for it to come across as defensive. But it did. I was feeling protective of Rex and the misguided reputation he had. As if he wasn’t deserving of love. Or maybe there were those distorted doubts that I wasn’t good enough.
Not to mention those specks of insecurity I felt at the mystery that remained hidden in his eyes, this needle of discomfort that poked and prodded and warned there was something he was keeping from me.
I was right there and he was terrified to let me the rest of the way in.
Lillith softened. “I am surprised, but not in a bad way. Rex deserves to find happiness. He’s had it rough. I couldn’t imagine a better person for him and that little girl than you.”
My lips pursed, and I decided to go with blatant honesty. Because Lillith and Nikki made me feel that I could. “I’m sorry. Sometimes . . . there are times when an old defensiveness appears out of nowhere. High school wasn’t exactly easy for me, and trust comes hard sometimes.”
Lillith glanced at Nikki. “I don’t think it was easy for any of us.”
“Oh, Lillith and I are no strangers to the high school bitches, are we Lily Pad? Believe me, we get it, and I promise you, our circle is safe. We invited you into it because we like you. That’s it.”
Gratitude throbbed, and a soft smile pulled to my mouth. “That really means a lot to me. I hope you know that.”
“Of course we know it. We’re awesome.” Nikki capped it off with a wink.
I laughed lightly. Truly loving that they had welcomed me into their circle.
My phone buzzed on the table. Excitement pulled across my ribs. I was biting at my bottom lip as I grabbed it from where I’d placed it face down, beating back a smile when I saw the text from Rex on the screen.
Rex: You still hanging out with your girls?
He’d teased me this morning when I’d tried to leave my bed, which he’d been gloriously stretched out in the middle of. The best kind of topping for twisted sheets. Naked and perfect and turning my world upside down. He’d told me he could think of much better ways to keep me entertained. It’d taken about all I had to rip myself away and force myself into the shower.
He’d just followed me in there.
I tapped out a quick reply.
Me: Finishing up soon. Will I see you later?
I set it back down. Obviously, I hadn’t done that great of a job containing my grin.
Nikki and Lillith stared back at me. Then Nikki howled. “Oh girl . . . you have it bad,” she drew out. “You should see your face right now. You are in so much trouble. Put a fork in that pie because you are done.”
“Stop it,” I whispered, laughing at her reference to pie and trying to hide the emotion that pressed in. This shimmery pulse that throbbed and vibrated, stretching out spindly fingers to find purchase in those secret places. Those places that were reserved for when it was right.
For when you just knew.
“So are you two like, together, together?” Lillith asked.
“Yeah.” As soon as I said it, those questions brimmed. Ones that hovered around the darkness that would dim his eyes.
“What?” she pressed.
Uneasy, I hesitated, hoping I wasn’t sharing something with them that would upset Rex. But I didn’t know who else to turn to. Because when I truly thought about it, it scared me.
“His ex-wife . . .” I blinked, choked around the words. “I don’t know if he’s over her.”
Just the thought gutted me.
A hollow, vacant space that radiated pain. He said he hated her. But there was so much pain around it, it made me itch.
“That bitch didn’t deserve either of them.” Nearly every word that came from Nikki’s mouth was light, filled with a tease and the easy way she looked at life. Not this. It was hard. A little bit bitter.
I hated the idea of crossing a line. Invading his privacy by asking for details he hadn’t offered.
But there was an ugly part of me that was shrouded in doubt. Turned out, old insecurities were hard to ditch. “What was she like?” I’d barely managed the choppy question when my attention caught on a big white truck that passed us, did a U-Turn, and pulled to a rumbling stop at the curb beside us.
“Holy shit,” Nikki mouthed, laughing under her breath. “Is that actually Rex Gunner? Looks like you’re not the only one who’s done for.”
My heart surged to my throat when both passenger side windows glided down. Rex slanted me an almost shy smile that was every kind of sexy from the driver’s seat, that expression alone seeping into my spirit and finding a home.