“You have nothing to be ashamed of,” she says softly. “I’m sorry I made that crack at the airport about my suitcase being bigger than your apartment. “
“I actually said that,” I remind her, pulling up a smile from somewhere.
“Whatever.” She waves a dismissive hand, grinning just the smallest bit in return. “My point is that I’m a spoiled bitch sometimes. I can’t blame you for assuming I would judge your place. I just want you to know that I don’t. Hearing all the things you do on the side so you can pursue your craft, I admire that kind of commitment.”
“Thank you.” I look at her, cataloging her features one by one and realizing the most fascinating thing about this girl isn’t visible to the naked eye.
“When you’re rich and famous, you’ll look back on this time—this apartment—and laugh. And appreciate how far you’ve gone.”
“You haven’t even heard my stuff.” I scoff and smile. “How do you know I’ll be successful?”
“My brother’s a genius. You must be talented or he wouldn’t make time for you.” Her lips twist just the slightest bit. “Believe me I know from personal experience how little time Rhyson has for the mediocre.”
“So you don’t sing or play?”
Her face lights up with genuine humor.
“Much to the dismay of all my music instructors. Everyone thought they’d get a female version of Rhyson.”
“And you …” I lift my brows, waiting for her to tell me what they got.
“Can’t carry a tune in a bucket or a note in my pocket to save my life,” she says. “I tried the clarinet, and was only … I think the word my instructor used to describe me was ‘adequate.’”
“It can’t be that bad. I mean, Grady and Rhyson are both obviously incredible musicians. Your parents played themselves, didn’t they, before they started managing?”
“Yes, they all play, which makes me the ugly duckling.”
I don’t even realize that my hand has lifted to brush my knuckle across the slant of her cheekbone until it’s done. Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t pull away. Her skin is like warm silk to touch.
“Ugly? I doubt that.” My voice comes out all deep and husky. If I keep this up, I’ll be excusing myself to jerk off in the tiny bathroom. “We better go.”
I drop my hand from her face and clear my throat. I need to stay focused, not on her face and body and that clever brain, but on getting out of here without spreading her out on my unmade bed.
FLOW - Chapter 5
Bristol
I’VE READ THE same line several times. My laptop could be upside down and I probably wouldn’t notice. I’m sitting here on the couch with my computer propped on my knees, not making any headway on the essay for my internship application. I could blame fatigue considering I haven’t really stopped since I left New York this morning. And my body clock may still be on East Coast. And I am getting hungry again. I could use those excuses for my lack of focus, but there’s only one real reason if I’m honest.
Grip.
He’s an unexpected fascination, a tantalizing riddle I keep turning over in my head. I keep hoping he’ll make sense eventually, but then I’m somehow glad he doesn’t add up or behave the way I think he should.
If he were in the same room, I’d still be surreptitiously gawking, stealing glances at one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen, but he’s in Grady’s music room working on his own stuff. He went there almost immediately after we arrived, and I haven’t heard a peep from him since. I guess he is as obsessed with music as my brother. Yet another reason not to venture too deeply into the attraction I feel for him.
“Not that he’s here,” I mumble. “He isn’t much company.”
I’m the one who said he doesn’t have to keep me company, and now I’m complaining because he isn’t. Maybe I imagined the charged moment at his apartment in the doorway. He touched my cheek. It was barely a brush of his fingers over my face, but it ignited … something. Emotion? Desire? I’m not sure, but I haven’t felt it before. Based on what I’ve seen of the player and his “chocolate charm,” I shouldn’t be feeling anything at all if I know what’s good for me.
I learned early on that people aren’t careful with your emotions. They’re too self-involved to consider how their actions affect others. I saw it when my parents forced Rhyson to tour, even though it was ripping our family apart. I’ve seen it in Rhyson’s own disregard for our relationship and how easy it was for him to walk away, forgetting he had a twin sister on the other side of the country. I’ve seen it in my parents’ sham of a marriage. They’re partners, but I’m not sure they genuinely care for one another at all. Certainly there isn’t any love. I protect my heart because no one else will.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t have a heart at all because, despite knowing what I know, I keep putting it out there to my family. Here I am, visiting Rhyson and willing to move after graduation if he’ll have me. I used to be afraid I’d be like my parents, careless. Now, I fear that I care too much about people who don’t give a damn.
“Machiavelli?” Grip’s voice, as deep and rich as espresso, caresses the nape of my neck from behind, making me jump. “Interesting choice.”
I look from the sharply hewn lines of his face to the flashing cursor behind Machiavelli’s name on my screen.
“Sorry.” He walks around to sit beside me on the couch. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”