“Lotus is Daddy’s girlfriend,” Simone says, watching me with unblinking eyes. “She needs to know, too.”
Bridget’s mouth drops open, but Kenan’s mother brushes her hand over Simone’s hair in a caress and looks at me.
“He’s talked a lot about you,” Mrs. Ross says.
She wants more grandkids.
I bite my lip, beating back the fear that I’ll never be able to give them to her. I nod jerkily, unable to form words, and look back to the doctor, silently urging him to go on.
“So yes,” he addresses me and my question. “But we aren’t out of the woods yet.”
“When can we see him?” I ask.
When can I see him?
I need to lay eyes on him, to see that massive chest rising and falling at regular, reassuring intervals.
“He’s just out of surgery,” Dr. Madison says. “It’ll be a while.”
He turns a concerned look on Simone, who seems to be fading, her eyes heavy. “You’ve all been here for hours. This would be a perfect time to go home. Catch a shower and a few winks. By the time you return, you’ll be able to see him.”
Simone shakes her head, her chin setting to a stubborn angle. “No, I want to—”
“Dr. Madison’s right,” Mrs. Ross interrupts gently, firmly. “We’ll run home, shower, lie down for an hour, and come back.”
“But Grandma—”
“Listen to your grandmother.” Bridget puts an arm around her daughter’s shoulder. “It’s just for a little while.”
Simone’s shoulders droop, and she wears her disappointment in every line of her body.
“We’ll talk when I come back,” Mrs. Ross says to me through a tired smile. “We have a lot to learn about each other.”
“I’d like that,” I reply. My eyes drift back to Simone, disconcerted to find her staring at me.
“You love him,” she says, a statement, not a question. There’s a sobriety to her that reminds me so much of her father, my heart reaches out to her like hands stretched toward a fire, seeking warmth.
Maybe it’s unwise, maybe it will unravel all that we’ve worked to make right for her these last few weeks, but Kenan said she was better and we were close, so I’ll take him at his word.
“I love him very much, yes,” I answer, struggling to keep my voice steady.
“He loves you, too,” Simone whispers. Tears gather over her blue eyes, an ocean of fear.
“He’s going to be fine,” I say to her, holding her stare and hoping she feels my faith. “He will.”
She stares back for a few seconds before dropping her head to her grandmother’s shoulder.
“Let’s go, Moni,” Mrs. Ross says. “The sooner we go, the sooner we come back.”
Simone nods and trails after her grandmother toward the exit.
Bridget doesn’t follow them, but stands her ground in front of me. We eye each other, neither wavering or backing down.
“When he pulls through,” she says, her voice stiff, “you be better to him than I was.”
Shock holds me completely still for a moment, and then I draw a breath. I don’t speak, because anything I say to the woman who lost the best man I know would be wrong, inadequate. There’s no consolation prize on Earth that could satisfy me if I lost Kenan. I don’t know if she still actually loves him, or just regrets that someone has assumed the place in his life she forfeited. Either way, it’s obviously hard, so I nod, silently assuring her that he’ll have my very best. Without another glance, she walks the path Simone and Mrs. Ross took.
“We’ll be back,” she says over her shoulder, rounds the corner, and disappears.