And I sure as hell didn’t like her.
But the invasive heat inside my chest demanded to be let loose, so I slept with her, which wasn’t saying much since I slept with anything and everything that gave me relief from the pain.
God, I just wanted relief.
Once in my life.
And the one woman I wanted to spend that life with — wouldn’t understand, I couldn’t tarnish her with what I was. Though God knew I wanted to, every touch with her was pure torture making it so I had to leave and find my pleasure elsewhere.
There was love.
And there was sex.
This? This was sex.
“I’ll find you.” I said in a haughty tone so she’d know I was dismissing her. “I always do.”
Because I was desperate.
Because I protect those I loved.
Because I was a bastard.
She grinned, her smile once captivating was tired. I’d taken too much of her energy, even now her heart beat slowed, but when you were a human you died.
Cause and effect.
By the looks of her, she wouldn’t last another ten years.
Pity because I’d have to find someone else that tasted like she did, and her taste was rare.
Not as rare as some.
But rare all the same.
My mind flashed back to the woman waiting for me, the one my heart sang for, the only one I desired.
Control.
I had to control myself because I’d always had this sickening feeling that if I didn’t — if I hurt her — all would be lost. And not just between us — but the world.
It was insanity.
Complete and utter madness.
I rarely shared my fears with others, least of all her.
And I wouldn’t burden her ever.
It was not hers to carry.
The minute the lingering perfume dissipated, and the sound of her footsteps ended, I collapsed against one of the large chairs in my study and waited for it.
Within minutes, Cassius charged into my room.
“Please, do come in.” I reached for a glass of wine, but it was hit out of my hands by a very pissed off Dark One.
“Do you have ANY idea what we’ve been going through? And you’re here screwing humans? We need help, Alex. We saved you so you could do a job.”