I’d always been a loner growing up—never really had any friends. Though I tried really hard to connect with people, it always just seemed like people either ignored me or were afraid of me.
My own parents even kept their distance, saying that they just weren’t like that.
I remember hugging my mom’s leg only to have her give me a sad smile, a pat on the head, then pry my arms from her body.
It stung when I was small.
Who was I kidding? It stung even now.
The worst part was that I had a perfectly gorgeous man—god—rummaging around in the kitchen, and I, Kyra had sent him away.
Sent him away!
I guess he kind of offered but still! Was I insane?
My stomach was in knots, and my chest hurt.
I wanted to believe he was kissing me because he wanted me, yet I couldn’t help but think it was because we were destined.
And for once in my life, I wanted someone to just, want me, no matter what. No souls, no being reborn, no weird cosmic time travel involved.
Just me.
Maybe I was asking for too much.
Maybe I was just going crazy—at this point, who could really blame me?
“I didn’t sacrifice thousands of years of my life for you to pout alone in a bedroom without my brother.” Horus’s voice stunned me out of my pity party.
I frowned as he braced himself against the door. He was wearing jeans that looked way too tight and a black band T-shirt I’d seen on Tarek once.
“You’re back.” I gave him a forced smile. “Going into shock yet?”
He shrugged. His dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail. “I almost got run over by a car. Then again, Mason was driving it, so I’ve been told that’s completely normal. The world is a vastly different place from what it used to be” A wry half-smile tugged up one side of his mouth. “In some ways better, in others much worse.” He walked all the way into the room and then sat on the bed. “I expected the door to be locked and the house shaking. Instead I find my brother downstairs grilling a sandwich, whatever that means, and attempting to see if it’s possible for a god to get drunk.”
I winced. “He tried…”
“Ah, but did you?” Horus fired back. “Did you try or were you afraid?”
I gulped. “It wasn’t fear necessarily, more like… okay so it was fear, but he doesn’t know me, I mean not really, he can’t love me if he doesn’t know me.”
“Humans.” Horus groaned and pressed hand to his temple. “So simple and yet complex. Do you even know what a soul is?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Yes, it’s the essence of every person, the only thing that lives, I hope, beyond death.”
“Correct, and Anubis, in all his years would weigh souls in the palm of his hand, he would test them, bargain with them, keep them safe, he was the Keeper of Souls. At death, he would weigh a feather against a person’s heart and soul and see what won out. He has touched millions of souls. To touch one is to know that person intimately. Imagine the cost on your sanity, imagine the burden he bears. It’s not like every soul he touches is good, and yet he takes that in.”
My mouth went dry. “Isn’t that dangerous?”
“He was made for it,” Horus said simply. “The gods were made in a similar way to humans, given dominion, given souls, and each of us has our job, the one thing that we were told was to never fall as the Watchers did—never involve ourselves with the human races, specifically females.”
“That’s a lonely existence.”
“Absolutely,” Horus agreed. “And then you came along, a human with the essence of a god in her blood, the soul of a god in her body, not only did he touch your soul and recognize that you were his other half—but he could actually have you.”
“Except I was promised to someone else”
“Exactly. He was willing to die in order to have you, even if it meant his time would suddenly be limited, even if it meant he would be struck down for interfering. He was willing to give up everything for you—and did. The moral of the story is this: What have you sacrificed for Anubis? What have you given him other than his life back? You have given him your trust, you have even given him part of your heart, but you have held the one thing he wants more than anything and hidden it away.”