He searched further to see what she was really trying to show him about herself, although he was certain he already knew. This confession was about Marigold. About betrayal.
Camellia had been exhausted after staying up all night—running, jogging, running more—to get the prisoner to the compound. Then she’d healed Kaden. That had taken more hours. She had nothing left and desperately needed sleep. Instead of taking care of her own needs, she’d gone straight to Lily, a woman she really didn’t know and shouldn’t have cared about. But she had cared. She cared enough to sit with her and let her talk.
She hadn’t condemned Lily for her actions as most people would have. Lily had brought the GhostWalkers to the brink of a war. She had placed her marriage in jeopardy. She’d risked her son. There was that ugly word: “betrayal.” Camellia knew all about it, and yet she had sat with Lily on the floor in a hallway and listened to her side of things and tried to comfort her.
“Jonas.” Camellia wailed his name and tugged his hair.
He had a lot of hair, so she got a fistful. She didn’t hurt him though. She was too conscious that his head was pounding—that sharp spikes had been jammed deep into his brain, and his blood roared and thundered in his ears. She’d been pulling those spikes out one by one with her firm massage.
He laughed softly because Camellia was a badass when it was necessary, but she wasn’t at all what she thought she was. “I’m getting there, honey. Give me a chance. I can’t help it if you do mostly good things.”
He casually caught her fist, pried her fingers open and brought her hand to his mouth. He’d planned on just kissing her knuckles, but he was very oral. He was leopard. Wolf. A lot of other things that demanded he pull each one of her fingers into his mouth and use his tongue to commit the shape and texture of her delicate digits to his memory. The pads of her fingers, the shape of each finger, her thumb, her knuckles. Skin like satin. Where were the calluses she should have? He felt strength in her hands each time she touched him, yet right at that moment, her fingers felt so fine and fragile, as if he could snap each bone in two with one quick bite of his teeth.
Reluctantly, he went back to his first idea and planted a kiss on each knuckle before returning her hand to her. Her fingers settled back on his scalp, pressing deep. Moving to his temples, down to the nape of his neck, following the worst of the knots.
“You’re making my head feel better. Thank you, Camellia. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.” No one had done that for him before. He couldn’t remember feeling as if he had a home once he’d lost his parents.
“Keep looking, Jonas. You need to see me.”
It was there, when she was sitting on the floor with Lily, talking with her about Ryland and realizing there was such a huge break in trust. Lily had her reasons. She was hurt over something Ryland said to her. Lily wanted to be a mother, not a scientist. In her mind, she somehow made the excuse that her decision made sense and was okay when it wasn’t. Still, Jonas saw into Camellia. She wanted Ryland to forgive Lily. She felt everything that had come before in their relationship should count for more than one bad choice.
His Camellia was soft inside when she thought she was hard. She had tried to develop a hard shell around that softness to protect herself because the hurt of betrayal had been horrific. She didn’t want to go through that kind of emotional pain ever again. She didn’t see that she was protecting herself, she only saw that she didn’t want to look at Marigold. She didn’t want to go see her.
Camellia took that as if she were refusing to heal Marigold because she couldn’t forgive her betrayal. Jonas knew better. If his woman laid eyes on Marigold, her resolve would fold immediately. He knew it would. He saw inside her where she was vulnerable. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. She was watching him, waiting for his judgment. She really didn’t see herself at all.
The moment their eyes met, his body reacted. It wasn’t just his cock; his heart went crazy, a wild peculiar sensation that was almost painful. It felt as though the actual organ just melted, dissolved right there in his chest. His gut somersaulted. She was branded deep, stamped right into his bones. Into his heart. It was the strangest feeling, thrilling and terrifying all at once.
“You never have to worry, Camellia. Not when you’re with me. I do see inside you. Right into that sweet place where you’re so damn soft. Anyone wants to hurt you, they’ll have to come through me.”