Calix looks down at his hands. “Did I injure you? Sometimes we morts do not know our own strength.”
Baffled, I study his face. Realization hits and I take his hands in my own. “Of course not. It’s a human expression. It means I don’t want either of us to make a mistake. This is all so new. I enjoyed what happened very much—”
“Then why not do it again?” he asks. “I want to help you, lilapetal, in all ways. Heal your body. Learn about your past. Kiss every inch of your skin.”
I flush. For someone who doesn’t understand kissing, he certainly has no problem with seduction. “Because we don’t know each other,” is all I can say, and even that tastes like a lie on my tongue.
“Our bodies know all there is to know, but I have observed Aria and Breccan enough to realize humans require more courting—more words—to be certain of a mate. Your voice is sweet to my ears, Emery-mine. I will listen to whatever you want to tell me. Come, we will get more comfortable.”
He helps me down from the table and leads me to a sitting area on the other side of the labs. Grabbing an extra lab coat, which is slung over the back of a well-worn chair constructed of some sort of leather or hide, he helps cover me as I trade the sheet for the lab coat. The ancient couch to its right has faded so much the original color is indiscernible. When we sit on it, the cushions give underneath, causing me to lean into his side. Based on his self-satisfied grin, I know that is exactly his plan.
His fingers lift to the pulse hammering at my throat and he hums in approval. These aliens are sure a touchy-feely bunch if his actions are anything to judge by. Which reminds me… “If you want to know more about me, then I want to know more about you.” I lift a brow. “Fair’s fair.”
He fits me into his side, half-lying against his body. It’s been a long day and I’m thoroughly exhausted, so I don’t have the energy to put up much of a fight. Besides, his closeness soothes the ragged edges inside of me. Being near him is like my own shot of sedative. My breathing slows, my heart settles, and my muscles loosen.
“A trade. I will agree to this. You may go first,” Calix says, his voice a rhythmic rumble in my ear where my head rests against his chest.
I bite my lip as I consider what to tell him first. There’s so much of my past I’d be ashamed for him to know. So much that would destroy the pedestal he has me on. But if I’m going to consider staying here, with this new community, I have to be honest about who I am and where I came from.
“My life wasn’t glamorous like Aria’s. I wasn’t anyone important or noteworthy. My family was poor and couldn’t afford much, but we were as happy as we could be when I was growing up. Ordinary, but happy.”
“You are anything but ordinary, lilapetal, but go on.”
His words only make me more determined for him to see the real me. “My illness cost my mother money, which meant she had to work harder to pay for doctors, medications, therapies. She wasn’t home often and I was an only child, so I spent a lot of time when I wasn’t in the hospital on my own.” And when she died, I was completely on my own, having to fend for myself at an early age.
“You were lonely.”
“Sometimes,” I admit in a whisper.
“You will never be lonely again,” Calix states firmly. “You are a part of our faction now. We will always be here for you, to help you, guide you, and give you safety. I vow this to you.”
Emotion swells in my throat and I blink back the sting of tears. “Thank you,” I say when I’m sure I won’t embarrass myself by crying all over him. “Now your turn. Tell me something about Calix. I’ve heard Aria talk about the women in cryo. If you have options, why me?” I should ask about his past, ask about the planet I’ve found myself on, but I want to know. He seems so sure of himself, of his interest in me. Maybe it’s selfish, but dammit, I deserve to be selfish.
Calix adjusts our position so we’re both reclining on the couch, with my back against the back of it and our legs intertwined. He dwarfs me completely, but I like it. I feel safe and protected, but at the same time the ease I feel in his arms scares me.
What if I grow used to having such security and it’s ripped away?
“I had not planned to choose a mate from the females when we first learned of your existence.”