Instead, I pivot and go through Theron’s door, into the dark depths of his room where I can hear him snoring from the bed. Being in his presence instantly, inexplicably calms me in the way that nothing has…probably ever in my life. I can tell myself it’s the sex as much as I like, but sex has never been important to me, considering it’s been weaponized all my life. It’s a release, a distraction, but it’s never been important. I can’t let it be.
I brush those thoughts away. It doesn’t have to be complicated. That’s the point. Theron understands now how it has to be and if a space fling is all it can be, then I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts. When we get back to the prison Theron will have no shortage of women who will throw themselves at his feet.
But until then, I have him all to myself.
I kneel over the bed with one knee on the mattress. He comes awake, not fully alert, but at least conscious, with the movement. His dark eyes meet mine through the shadows and his hands automatically reach for me, gliding over my body like they own it. My eyes flutter closed, my restlessness already being replaced by heat and need. I let him pull me down atop him and my lips find his.
“I thought you didn’t want to fling while Avrell was on board,” he says when I let him up for air.
“Are you complaining?” His fingers dip underneath my shirt to find my breasts. He still can’t get enough of them.
“I’d never complain to have you in my bed, bright star. It feels empty without you in it.”
I kiss him again because his sweet words make my chest ache in a way that’s not entirely uncomfortable. Maybe if I keep kissing him it’ll keep him from saying anything else that might make this more complicated than it already is. Those sweet words come too easy from him and I like them too much.
When I was in one of my placement homes, I used to hoard candy I’d find in their shelves. I would put it in a grocery bag and stick it underneath my box springs then gorge when I was alone. I find myself hoarding Theron’s words in much the same way, tucking them away inside my heart to savor when I’m alone and no one can take them from me. I’m afraid I’ll get used to them, grow to love them.
So I keep kissing him so he can’t offer up anymore. And then I kiss him because not would be something akin to not breathing.
He flips me over, tucking me underneath his strong, powerful body as though he’s going to protect and devour me at the same time. Then it isn’t words he offers me, but touch.
And that’s how I realize I’m doomed.
Theron doesn’t need words to show me how feels, he does it with his touch. The reverence with which he caresses my body is a language of its own.
10
Theron
My eyes burn with the need to sleep, but I’ll suffer this annoyance because of her. Willow was worth the zero sleep I received on our journey back to Exilium. All those whimpers and mewls were more necessary than sleep. Each solar spent inside Willow was incredible.
But now it ends.
Our space fling.
I’m feeling cantankerous about it too.
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
Those were her last words she whispered to me in the dark after she reminded me that this all ends when we get back to Exilium.
Maybe it is me.
What if she’d had this space fling with say Avrell? Would she whisper the same words at the end of it or would she be like her mother and Aria and the rest…saying they’re worth more than eight solars of mating? That they’re the forever kind of mates?
Just thinking about anyone mating with her has me nearly blind with fury.
Rekk that.
The prison that’s nestled in the side of the mountain comes into view, drawing me from those troublesome thoughts. Everything in me begs on me to pull back and veer off toward the ocean. Coast over it and discover new creatures and sights. And keep Willow in my bed while I do it.
“Someone is rather somber,” Avrell notes as I lower the craft toward the open bay.
“Just tired.” It’s hard not to be angry with him after my visual of him with my mate.
“Because you’re a beast behind closed doors with the female?”
I shoot him a sour look. “You were listening?”
“Trust me,” he groans, “I tried not to, but you two aren’t exactly quiet.”
“It doesn’t matter. It was just a space fling,” I spit out, swallowing down my irritation. “As soon as we land, it’s over.”
“Hmm. Does she know you’d rather it not be over?”
Sometimes I hate how wise and knowledgeable he is about everything.