“You mean Kaitlyn?” the brunette asked.
“Yeah.”
“I think she's upstairs cleaning up.”
I gave her a quick smile and took the stairs two at a time, calling Katy’s name as I went. She stuck her head out of the bathroom as I reached the landing, her dark hair falling forward over her face as she did.
“What's wrong?” she asked, her eyes widening slightly.
“Nothing,” I said quickly as I realised I'd frightened her. “Well nothing immediate,” I corrected.
She glanced over my shoulder towards the stairs and stepped back into the bathroom, indicating for me to follow with a nod of her head. I moved into the room and pushed the door closed behind me. I guessed breaking the news to her was the best way forward. She'd probably know how to tell her friends in the nicest way possible that we wouldn't be able to go and check on their families.
“So?” she prompted, concern glistening in her eyes. She still hadn't pushed her hair out of her face and my fingers twitched as I resisted the urge to do it for her.
“I’ve been talking to some of my squad,” I explained. “And they're concerned that Harbour City might not be able to take everyone in at once.”
“You mean we might not get inside?” she asked, taking a step towards me. “But my mom and dad are already in there-“
“I know. Don't worry, I'm gunna make sure you get inside before they stop taking people. But that means we need to head there now. There's no time to go checking on your friends’ families.” I held her eye for several seconds as the information sank in.
“You want me to tell them that we're abandoning their families?” she asked and I could tell she was struggling to keep her voice low.
“It's not about wanting to,” I replied. “We need to go. If they close the doors before we get there-“
“And you think that they'll just leave their families behind when I tell them that? You think they won't mind abandoning them?” Her jaw clenched and I got the feeling she was angry with me.
“Look it's not about wanting to leave them behind,” I said, irritation lacing my words as she failed to grasp what I was trying to tell her. “There isn't a choice here. If they waste time checking up on houses that are most likely empty then you could miss your chance to get to safety.”
“And you think I value that over my friends’ families?” Her voice rose and I took a step towards her angrily.
“You don't understand. I made a promise to your mother to protect you and Reese. I told her I'd get you to the city-“
“No matter what? So it doesn't matter what I want?” she demanded, glaring up at me.
“You don't want to be safe with your family?” I asked incredulously.
“Of course I do! But I can't just sell out my friends to get what I want. How could I live with myself?”
“But you would live! Didn't you see enough last night to realise that you're better off in there?”
“I did but that's not the point. I can't be that selfish; you just don't understand because you never had a proper family!”
I clenched my fist as I fought to keep my temper in check. “That's what you think? That me trying to keep you alive is somehow proof that I'm the screwed up kid who never had a family?”
“I never said you were screwed up,” she said but her tone was still defensive. “Just that you don't understand. You turned your back on your family but that doesn't mean that everyone else should too.”
“I'm trying to make up for that now. You know why I left but I shouldn't have left everything behind. I shouldn't have abandoned you too.” I stepped forward again, my feet moving without me deciding they should. She tilted her head to look up at me as the distance between us was reduced to just a few inches.
“I don't think you abandoned me,” she said softly, the fight going out of her. “You did the right thing. But I could never leave my mom and dad out here if I thought they were waiting for me. I've always had something with my parents that you didn't…” She looked away guiltily like she didn't want to be speaking those words to me. But I knew what she meant.
“Love,” I finished for her. My stomach twisted uncomfortably as the shadow of my childhood raised its ugly head again. She couldn't know how many times I'd wished her family were mine. How much I'd wished for even one second when my mom would look at me the way hers had looked at her every minute.
Her gaze met mine and her eyes filled with understanding. We didn't move for several seconds as we regarded each other in the dim light.
We were so close that the distance between us almost didn't exist and yet it felt like a barrier. If either of us crossed it then something between us would change.
The silence pressed in on us, stretching too long for it to be natural but neither of us seemed inclined to break it.