It was times like this that I wished I had my family around.
I’d be able to offload this to my mom while she cooked for me and hummed and listened, then she’d tell me to shut up and stop overthinking everything.
She’d remind me that my stupid ass choices lead to this moment.
Which they had.
If I hadn’t drunk that last beer last weekend, I wouldn’t have opened that stupid dating app, and I wouldn’t have ended up accidentally texting Reagan.
After the fire, she would have been one of many people I’d rescued from burning buildings.
Hearing her say her name was Reagan would have washed right over me as unimportant. It wouldn’t have had me showing up at the hospital to see if she was my Reagan.
It was all my own doing why I was sitting here on my sofa, in my underwear, watching TV while texting her.
It was why I’d done it for the last few days.
Could you have feelings for someone you barely knew? Realistically, I knew fuck all about her. Not the kind of shit you’d learn on a first date, anyway, the menial stuff that was kind of important in the long run—favorite food and movies and colors and all that shit.
Yet here I was.
Wondering how hard she’d punch me in the nose if I asked her out for real.
My phone pinged, jolting me out of that train of thought. I already knew the answer: it would be fucking hard.
REAGAN: Did your dog eat your underwear again?
ME: No. The only pair she can access are the ones I’m wearing.
REAGAN: You definitely don’t want her doing that.
ME: Definitely not. What are you doing?
REAGAN: That’s a better line than ‘what are you wearing’ I suppose.
REAGAN: I’m watching Friends.
Oh, no. She spent the day shitting all over How I Met Your Mother and she was watching Friends? With Ross Geller? Who was categorically the worst fucking character ever to be created on TV?
Probably in books, too.
Nobody with an ounce of sense would create such a shit-ass character. No offense to the creators of the show—great show, guys, really—but Ross?
Fuck Ross.
NOAH: I fucking hate Ross. He’s the worst.
I waited for her to defend him. It was coming. She’d defend him the way I had Ted Mosby before I systematically broke down her argument the way she had mine and she agreed she was wrong.
REAGAN: He’s the fucking worst. I can’t stand him. Rachel should have gotten on the damn plane.
Well, there went my plans for the evening.
ME: You were supposed to argue with me.
I stared at my phone, waiting for her response, but it didn’t come. Instead, her name flashed on the screen as a call.
This was new.
She spoke the second the line clicked on. “How am I supposed to argue about Ross? He is the worst character ever. He’s selfish and whiny and insecure and just an absolute pig to Rachel all the time! He didn’t want her but got mad when she dated everyone else. And Joey? Poor, sweet Joey who knew he was going to break Ross’ heart had the gall to love Rachel properly and Ross was mad about it! You know what I think? If Ross really loved Rachel, he’d have let her be with Joey. That’s what I think.”
I waited a moment before I said, “Hi. Calling is new.”
She laughed breathily, as if her rant had exhausted her. “Sorry. I have feelings about Ross. It’s easier if someone can shut me up halfway through.”
“If you hate Ross so much, why do you watch the show?”
“Joey. Duh.”
“Right. Of course. Why else?”
“You asked.” Amusement tinged her tone. “No, it’s a good show. It’s a comfortable show. I can enjoy it and hate Ross at the same time.”
“I feel that.” I got up and walked through to the kitchen for a drink. “I started hating Ted ten minutes into How I Met Your Mother earlier yet I still enjoyed the show. Also, I don’t think I can ever forgive you for making me realize just how fucking shit he is as a character.”
“You’re welcome.” She laughed, and there was a swish as if she were in bed.
Shit, I did not need to imagine Reagan in bed.
I adjusted my boxers. It wasn’t my fault she was fucking gorgeous and I was insanely attracted to her.
Could I blame her for that?
“What other TV shows do you have strong opinions on that I should be aware of?” I pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and knocked the door shut with my elbow. “I want to make sure I’m prepared for more of the things I love to be shattered.”
Reagan laughed again. “I don’t know. The Big Bang Theory?”
“None of the characters are one hundred percent awful, except maybe Sheldon, but he doesn’t hide it. Doesn’t count.”
“You’re right. I can’t rip them apart like the others. They’re all too good together.” She hummed. “Okay, One Tree Hill?”