“I…it’s broken. He needs help.” Fuck, how do you explain something like this? “An…ambulance.”
“I’ll have the captain take us ashore and see if there’s a doctor on board,” the waiter says, rushing off.
Henley pokes her head in the door and sees me. “Lydia? Everything okay?”
“No,” I hiss. She comes in and peeks inside the stall door. Simon sits there with his cock all…cockeyed, and tears welling in his eyes.
“Holy fuck! What did you do to him?” Turning around, she glares at the few people who have gathered in the bathroom trying to get a look at what happened. “Out!” she yells. “It’s just a guy with an injury, and we don’t need a bunch of nosy people staring at him! Get out!”
Mumbling about rudeness, they file out as Davis arrives. Henley waves him over and gestures into the stall. “What do we do?” she whispers.
Davis peeks inside and a look of horror washes over his face. “Oh fuck. That’s…hell, I can’t even look at it.”
“Thanks, that’s really helpful,” I snap. “Go find a doctor.”
Covering his own crotch as if it may be catching, he retreats out the door.
“Help is coming,” I reassure Simon, squeezing his hand. The only reply I get is a quick nod while he tries to deal with pain I can’t even imagine.
Bobby Jo enters and stretches out her arm, offering him a large white pill that sits in her palm. “Davis told me what happened. Here, sugar. Take this. It’ll be a while before we make it back to land.”
“What is it?” I ask at the same time that Simon grunts, “It’s for pain?”
“Sure. It works for pain, boredom, bad moods, everything. It’s a miracle pill.”
Before I can try to reason with him that he shouldn’t take a drug when he doesn’t know what it is, he snatches it from her hand and chews it up.
Henley blanches and hands him her drink. “Here, that has to taste horrible.”
So now he has chased the mystery “miracle pill” with alcohol, and it doesn’t take long for the effects to become noticeable. His eyes turn glassy, and he starts to slur his words a little.
The waiter returns with an older man who carries a stretcher and a first aid kit. “He’s a doctor,” he says nervously.
The man shakes his head. “Actually, I’m a vet, but I know first aid.”
“An army medic?” I ask.
“No, a veterinarian.”
Of course. An animal doctor. Can this trip get any more ridiculous?
The vet takes one look at Simon’s crooked cock and shudders. “Damn man. All right. Let’s get him up and on the stretcher. We’ll get him to the deck and the paramedics will meet us at the dock.”
Simon is so doped up from whatever happy tablet Bobby Jo gave him that I don’t think he even realizes what they’re doing when Davis and the vet help him from the toilet to the stretcher. He lies back and closes his eyes. I borrow a towel from the waiter and toss it over his hips. It’s bad enough he has to be carried through a room full of partygoers. He doesn’t need them all gaping at his crooked crotch.
Davis and the vet hoist the stretcher up and start out the door. I walk right beside him with Henley, Roman, Bobby Jo, the waiter, and a few curious onlookers following behind. The room filled with partiers falls eerily quiet, the laughter and voices fading until all I can hear is the music. Whispers of “having sex in the bathroom,” and “bent right in half,” reach my ears, but I try to ignore it. It doesn’t keep my cheeks from heating up, though.
Kasha leads our little parade of nonsense out to the deck and chases everyone away. Henley and Davis go to wait by the gangway so they can show the paramedics where we are while Kasha and Roman stay with us while we wait.
“Um…how the hell did this happen, Lydia?” Kasha whispers, trying not to disturb Simon, who is either asleep or too high to know the difference. “What kinky shit were you up to?”
“Nothing! I was just…riding him, and he screamed. I don’t know. Maybe I was too rough?”
Roman chuckles, and Kasha shoots him a dirty look. “I’m sorry, but she’s tiny! Who would’ve thought?”
He’s about to have my tiny foot in his ass. Simon groans, and his eyes drag open. “Lydia?”
“Right here.” I grab his hand. “We’re pulling into shore now. We’ll be at the hospital soon.”
He looks at me and a goofy smile spreads across his face. “You’re so pretty.”
Kasha and Roman both repress their snickers as I sweep his sweaty hair off of his forehead. “You’re stoned.”
“As a biblical whore,” he replies gravely before his smile returns. “But you’re still beautiful.” His eyes fall shut again, and he mumbles, “That’s not why I love you, though. More than that.”