Heart Shaped Spotlight

Me: Hi. I just want to know if you’re alright. May I phone you?

My feet continued dragging my body east, and I was surprised to hear my phone beep so quickly.

Trisha: Sure. Or you could drop by. I need to go for a walk.

Me: That would be great. I’ll meet you anywhere.

My heart leapt into my throat. I hadn't been certain that she would respond at all, much less say that I could see her.

She sent me her address, and was waiting out front when I got there. Her beautiful hazel eyes made me melt as she looked up at me. The need to hug her was almost overwhelming.

“Hi,” I said. My voice usually sounded much more confident. “How have you been?”

Trisha shrugged, tilting her head as she led me back to the sidewalk, and down the street. “It’s been weird, but okay.”

"Weird, definitely," I nodded. I followed her to the left, down an even quieter street.

Taking a breath, I knew I had to get the worst out of the way. "I didn't tell you immediately, because we weren't really speaking. But Dave had some lawyers yank Kim's site down. They took it completely off-line, or something. I didn't understand the details, but she was using other people's content without permission and making unsubstantiated claims, or whatever. So she's totally shut down.”

Trisha nodded. "I saw that the site was gone. I wondered if you had something to do with it."

"Actually, I just asked Dave to look into it, and he took over. I think he was angry about the invasion of privacy, but really pissed off that you were upset." I gave her a sideways glance. "Dave really likes you."

She shrugged. "Maybe I'm infinitely likable."

I loved that she was becoming sassier.

Trisha led us into a park, and we settled on a bench surrounded by flowering bushes. "This is an excellent hiding spot,” I observed.

"I like to come here and read sometimes," she said.

“I'd like to have a backyard with a reading nook someday, but until then, this will do."

"I hope that you get that someday." I paused, trying to figure out what I needed to say. "Trisha, I just want you to be happy. If that's not with me, that's okay. I know that I'm one of those big energy people that gets lost in the moment, and that's hard for you. I sort of thought that you would come around, but now I realize I need to control myself more than trying to control others. Even if it's well-intended."

She looked a bit surprised, nodding.

"I think I still have a lot of growing to do," I confessed. "You're the only relationship I've ever had, so obviously I don't know much about the process. I've also always been surrounded by people – friends, musicians, my band, my manager, and now my new band. In some ways, I think I need to find some quiet spaces like you do."

"That would probably be good for you," she said softly.

"You've taught me so much, Trisha. You seem to be doing really well for yourself. You've escaped your family, have your own place, and have a great job. It sounds like they really value you there, and that's amazing."

"Thank you,” she whispered.

"I can let you go now," I said quietly. It was so hard not to reach out to hold her hand. "I want you to be happy. I need to know that you're having a good life. That's all I've ever wanted for you. Now that I know that you're okay, and you're able to take care of yourself, I can let you go."

Both her hands and bottom lip were shaking, and I wasn't sure if she was touched or relieved.

"I'd like to think that if we go our separate ways, maybe we could be friends someday. Grab a coffee now and then."

"I'd definitely like to see your new band," she whispered.

"Absolutely," I tried to smile. “And I'll do my best to arrange the set so there are as few love songs as possible." She smiled, and once again it almost caused me physical pain not to reach for her.

Her hand darted out to touch my necklace, her thumb circling the guitar pick. Then she touched the leather pouch. "I've been meaning to ask you what's in here,” she said.

Funny how I’d never been nervous when I walked out on stage to bare my soul for thousands, but my hands trembled as I opened the little charm bag.