“Has it been five minutes yet?” Joe asked after about one minute.
“No, and don’t peek.”
I sat on the floor still feeling like death and Joe sat down next to me.
“How will you feel if it’s positive?” He asked cautiously.
“Honestly? I don’t really know. Scared, after last time but I know I can’t let what happened before worry me.”
I sighed and turned to look at him. I didn’t need to ask how he would feel it was written all over his face. He was way too excited. I flicked through the leaflets whilst we waited to take my mind off the mixture of feelings floating through my brain.
Finally I took a deep breath and stood up, “That’s our five minutes.” I couldn’t bring myself to turn round but Joe couldn’t wait, he peered over my shoulder at the sticks lined up and I tried to read his face as he did.
“So no line means not pregnant?” He looked sideways at me, I still couldn’t turn to look and I definitely couldn’t tell what he saw from his expression.
“Yes, and the last three I did its one line not pregnant, two lines for pregnant, why are there no lines.”
I held my breath as he looked again. Then he picked them up to show me.
“There are a lot of lines baby.” He held them out in front of me and I started shaking. I took them into my hands not quite believing what I saw. I looked back up at his goofy face all smiley and smug.
“I can’t believe my baby is having my baby.” He grinned, and in that moment a burst of happiness erupted inside me. Seeing him so proud and excited was infectious. I felt like I’d finally done something right.
“Is that ok with you?” I gave a hesitant smile and he grabbed me into a hug and swung me around.
“Are you kidding this is the best news I’ve ever had. I can’t believe it…You make me so happy Ella.” I knew what was coming next. “Can I tell anyone yet?”
“No, not yet. You need to promise me Joe. No telling anyone okay.”
He nodded but I didn’t believe him for a second. I knew it would be spread around everyone he knew by lunchtime. I couldn’t chastise him though, not when he looked so cute and happy. I liked that I was reason for that look. I just hoped all our problems were behind us now. We deserved some luck and after the last few months this had to be plain sailing, right?
I rang in sick at work that morning, the nausea was so over powering I couldn’t have sat at my desk and been productive. In fact I couldn’t have sat at my desk at all, all I could do was lie down and moan or run to the toilet. Anything else was a definite no no.
Tuesday morning came and it was the same routine, so I begrudgingly rang in sick again.
“I can’t keep ringing in sick, this could go on for months.” I was fed up already and I hadn’t even started with the swollen ankles, fat belly and everything else I had to look forward to in the next nine months.
“Give up work then.” It was always so simple for Joe, but I liked having my own job and money.
I told him as much, but he just pointed out that I already had a credit card to use and he’d gladly transfer money into my account or have my name put onto his. He had an answer for everything but I was going to stick my heels in on this one.
By the fourth day of ringing in sick I decided that maybe a hiatus from work might be a good idea. It wasn’t fair to expect them to wait for me, and let the rest of the staff take on my extra work load. Plus I was starting to worry about the affects the stress of working would have on the baby. I knew women all over the world managed to work and have babies every day, but I wasn’t thinking straight at all. If I had my way I’d probably spend the next nine months lying in bed to make sure nothing bad happened. It’s funny how one minute the idea of being pregnant can be disastrous and the next you wrap yourself in cotton wool and talk to your stomach twenty four seven giving it the nickname belly bean.
So on day five I rang to chat to Frank and told him what was going on, why I felt that taking time out would be better for them and me, and after trying to talk me out of it, he agreed to let me go. He told me my job would always be open for when I wanted to come back, but I think we both knew I wouldn’t. I asked if I could pop in one of the days the following week to say goodbye to everyone and clear away a few things. He said he could do better than that and asked if I would mind if he put on a little ‘going away’ party for me. Nothing too extravagant just some lunch and a few gifts to say thank you. How could I say no? I had loved my time at Parker Hayes and would miss seeing everyone even Kim and her meddling. We agreed on the following Monday and I hung up, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
37
Why did I have butterflies? What was so scary about going into my place of work and saying ‘goodbye for now’ to all of them? I had no idea but my tummy was whirling like a washing machine and it had nothing to do with the raging hormones and morning sickness I’d had earlier. Even my hands were slightly shaky as I opened the car door and made my way round to the entrance of the office. Sam, Joe’s head of security, was my minder for the day. I didn’t know if head of security was his official title, seemed to me general dogsbody would have suited him better. He was always running some sort of strange errand and today was no exception.
I fired a text off to Chris to let him know I’d arrived. I figured a familiar friendly face would put my nerves to bed, so I asked him to come and meet me by the lifts. As soon as I saw his cheeky face I relaxed instantly and he smothered me in a huge hug, the smell of him and his after shave made me feel at home.
“Babe, I’ve missed you so much, how you feeling?” His face was full of concern, he was the sweetest friend ever.
“I’m okay just really nervous to come in today and see everyone. Does anyone else know why I’m taking a break?”
I’d told Chris and Ed about my pregnancy at the same time I’d told Robyn. They were like family to me and I had to let them know what was going on. However, apart from Frank and
Eric no one else knew the reasons why I was leaving.