“Where, Kian? Where are they?”
“I don’t know, but if I had to guess-”
“Please do. I don’t have time for this,” I snapped, ready to bolt myself.
“The gym. Brandon’s gym, where he works. That’s where they usually meet. Of course, there is Zak’s place, but…”
I didn’t let him finish. I headed out the door and turned left. Every minute that I was away from him felt like an extra pound of misery weighing in my chest. I couldn’t deal with any more. He held the valve to provide some release. If I didn’t find him soon, I felt sure I was going to implode.
The lights inside the gym were still on, but the sign on the door said closed. I pushed through regardless and found a young guy on the front desk.
“Evening.” The guy gave me a cocky smile, but it soon faded when he saw how fraught I was. “Are you okay? Can I help you with anything?”
“Where’s Ryan?” I didn’t bother with second names. I assumed if Brandon worked here and they used this place as their meeting point, he’d know who I meant.
“Probably out the back with Brandon.” He gestured across the gym to a set of doors. “The boxing ring is through there. Tell Brandon I’m locking up now…” He went to say something else, but I just threw my hand up to show that I’d heard. I didn’t stick around. I had my focus elsewhere.
When I opened the doors I didn’t find the boys, only Brandon sitting on the edge of the boxing ring, hunched forward and looking like he’d just suffered the worst defeat of his career. When he heard the door slamming behind me, he looked up, then straightened his back and jumped to his feet. I’d always found it difficult to read Brandon and tonight was no different. Was that remorse? Or defiance? Did he even know how he felt?
“Is he here?” I asked, looking around all the shady corners of the room. There were a few punch bags suspended from the ceiling and the ring that dominated the centre looked like it’d seen better days.
“No. He’s out looking for you. Are you okay?” He stepped closer towards me like I was a wounded animal and he wasn’t sure how best to approach me. I hadn’t actually seen Brandon look nervous or vulnerable, but that’s how he seemed now. He was being cautious.
“No, Brandon. I’m not okay.” He stopped when our feet were almost touching, and I felt uncomfortable being this close to him, but I didn’t step back. Brandon lived off the fear of others and I didn’t want to show any weakness. Tonight, I had to have the upper-hand.
“You weren’t supposed to see that. We didn’t do that to hurt you, Em.” I sighed. I’d heard enough of the excuses. I wasn’t here to get Brandon’s version of events. I just needed to see Ryan.
“Where is he?” I repeated, ignoring his sympathetic stare and dodging the second round of justification.
“When Kian told us you’d heard it all, I felt sick. I never meant to hurt you, Emily. Thinking that you were out there, heartbroken, crying. It did something to me.”
I felt like giving him a round of applause for his Oscar winning performance. Who was he trying to kid? Brandon Mathers didn’t care about anyone else’s feelings, only his own. “This isn’t about you, Brandon. I need to speak to Ryan.”
“I care too, Emily. I care more than you know.”
I didn’t know what his game was, but I wasn’t about to open myself up to him, no matter how contrite he attempted to make himself appear.
“I’m sure you do. Danny was a friend to all of you. Can you text Ryan and ask him to come here?”
He shook his head. “I need to make it right between us. I can’t bear the hurt I feel.” He grabbed the front of his T-shirt, grimacing. He wasn’t making any sense. “I’m dying inside, Em.”
“I’m sorry you feel guilty about shitting all over my life. I’ll buy you a gift basket if it’ll make you feel better.” He didn’t crack a smile, just pushed himself further into my personal space.
“You know that’s not what I mean. I can’t go on like this anymore. After what happened tonight, I realised I needed to put it right. I should’ve fought harder for you. For us.”
“What are you on about?” I frowned, trying to sift through his garbled words to come up with something that made sense.
“I love you, Emily.” Before I could get my next breath, his hand was holding the back of my head and he was kissing me, not slow and gentle like Ryan, but rough and desperate.
I used both of my hands on his chest to push him away. When he realised I wasn’t reciprocating whatever fucked-up admission this was, he took a step back and wiped over his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Why the fuck did you do that?” I gasped, covering my mouth and fighting down the bile that was rising up.
“I know Ryan loves you, but I do too. I always have.”
I went cold hearing those words. Their sentiment only made me uncomfortable and confused. I’d done nothing to encourage him. Where the hell was all this coming from?
“What?” I managed to splutter out. “You’ve been a shitty human being to me for ninety-nine percent of the time I’ve known you, Brandon. That’s not love. What kind of sick game are you playing?”