‘Arlo?’ He’d frowned. ‘You won’t have to say anything to him. I thought he was home, but apparently he’s on some ice floe in the Antarctic. He probably won’t be back for months.’
That at least was something, she thought, gazing up at the rain-spattered glass.
Johnny’s brother, Arlo Milburn, was not just a decorated former marine and a renowned expert on all things environmental, he was also a polar explorer. She had been dreading meeting him with Johnny there, but doing so on her own—
She shivered.
It was just lucky for her that he was away, because guilt had made Johnny unusually single-minded.
‘Look, it’s perfect for you.’ He’d held up his phone to show her. ‘For starters, it’s basically off-grid. Plus, you can have the run of the place. Nobody will be there except Constance—’
‘Who’s Constance?’
He’d frowned. ‘She looks after the house.’
‘Won’t she think it a bit odd, me just turning up on my own?’
‘No,’ Johnny had said firmly. ‘She hates it when Arlo’s away. Honestly, she’ll love having you there. And you’ll love it too. It’ll be like a home from home.’ He’d taken her hand and squeezed it. ‘Besides, I’ve already called her and left a message saying you’re coming, so you have to go now, Frankie.’
He’d been so racked with remorse, so contrite, so very handsome...
And, anyway, what would the alternative have been? Running home with her tail between her legs?
It was getting dark now outside, and for a moment she stared at her reflection.
And then what?
If she went out then she would have to pretend everything was fine, and she just didn’t have the energy to do that. But if she stayed in then she would be alone with her thoughts...
No, with or without Johnny, she needed a break—a change of scene. A few days away in Northumberland was exactly what the doctor ordered.
Suddenly her heart was racing, and even though she could feel her hands, could see the jutting bleached-out knobs of her knuckles, it felt as though she was losing substance.
Of course the opposite was true.
She alone had survived.
Her shoulders jerked. Even now it was a physical pain. Knowing that everyone she loved, everyone who had loved her, was gone.
Her family had been coming back from a summer holiday in Provence. Her father had been flying the plane when it had crashed. The crash had killed him, her mother, and her twin brother and sister.
She alone had survived.
And every day she wondered why.
‘This train will shortly be arriving at Berwick-upon-Tweed.’
The automated voice broke into her thoughts as she fought for calm.
‘Please remember to take all your belongings with you before you leave the train.’
Her fingers tightened on the armrest. After the shock had worn off there had been endless paperwork to fill in, meetings with solicitors, and then finally the inquest.
A shiver ran over her skin.
She had told the truth, but nothing she’d said had made any difference. That was when she’d started blogging and she hadn’t stopped since. But working non-stop for eighteen months had taken its toll. She was sleeping badly, had trouble concentrating, and lately she had a strange, disquieting feeling of being erased...like a drawing that wasn’t quite good enough—
Jolted back into the present, and glancing around, she saw that the carriage was empty. Standing up, she pulled her suitcase down from the overhead luggage rack.