But she couldn’t stop returning to him in the evening. Taking what he could offer. Surely it was the only way to break the attraction to him—to gorge until she could no more. Yet so far it was having the opposite effect and she was dreaming of drawing closer to him.
For once she was looking forward to flying away.
But late on Friday night she was there again, watching with her mouth watering as Jared stirred the mass of vegetables with a quick action.
He saw her attention and grinned. ‘Don’t want them to burn or, worse, go soggy?’ He lifted the pan off the flame and spooned some on the heated plates where the steaks were resting.
He looked up and caught her out staring again. He smirked. ‘Do you want to go sailing this weekend? The forecast isn’t too bad.’
Amanda swallowed. The invitation had so casually been tossed out and another weekend—next weekend—she’d have leapt at the chance to spend a day with him. But she couldn’t and in her heart she knew it was a good thing. ‘Actually I already have plans this weekend.’
‘Really?’ He paused expectantly.
‘Yes.’
‘Work?’ He can’t have heard her note of finality.
‘I’m seeing someone.’
‘Who?’
It was her turn to pause. She didn’t want to tell him about Grandfather—that would be pulling him into a part of her life that was complicated enough without his presence. ‘Um…just a friend.’ There was no polite way of not answering. ‘Shall I get the cutlery?’
Their eyes met for a moment.
‘Sure.’
Dinner was quiet—Jared attacked his steak with vicious slashes of his knife as if he hadn’t eaten in a year but Amanda pushed hers around her plate, her mind on the coming weekend. She needed to check in with Grandfather.
She took their plates to the bench and then went to find her phone. Looking at its black screen, she frowned. Stupid. She’d forgotten to charge it.
‘Do you mind if I borrow your phone?’
She tried to phone Grandfather every day—so he had some contact with family, but also because his condition bothered her. But she hadn’t had the chance earlier and she wanted to remind him she was coming. Something was not right but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was. She was bound to be imagining it. Feeling guilty for being away so long and not knowing how quickly he’d deteriorated. Being overly cautious now as a result and probably seeing problems when there weren’t any. It was probably just part of his illness.
‘Go right ahead.’ Jared was cool. ‘Use the one in the lounge.’
It was only a brief conversation but at least she got to talk to him. Grandfather sounded confused, as he increasingly did. He still knew her but there was so much else he didn’t know. Like the day of the week, his address, his phone number, what it was he’d just been saying. The nurse was keen to take the phone away again. Amanda stalled, wanting some sign that things were OK.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow, darling.’
She hung up and tapped her fingers on the table, hating that she couldn’t go check on him right this instant. Not for the first time she thought maybe she’d have to move. She couldn’t be this far away from him. Yet there was the dilemma. Here she could earn the money for his medication—she couldn’t get the same kind of salary down there. But she needed to be able to pop in at any time of the day, just to make sure everything was OK—because right now she wasn’t sure that it was.
She turned, restless, and was surprised to see Jared leaning in the doorway, grasping a cup of something hot and steaming. ‘Coffee?’
She shook her head. ‘Actually I’d better get going.’
She couldn’t stay here. She’d tell Jared if he asked. And the last thing she wanted to do really was burden him with her family dramas. She could work this out on her own. He was her bedmate, not her best friend. He didn’t like women who wanted things from him—not material things, not emotional things. While Amanda wanted physical things from him, that was all she was admitting to. And if she was secretly craving more, that was her problem to solve.
Jared worked to keep his voice even as anger rotted his stomach. ‘Sure.’
‘I’ll get my things and call a cab.’
‘I’ll give you a ride.’
‘Thanks.’
He watched her grab her bag and stand fiddling with the strap of it. She didn’t seem to mind that he hadn’t even tried to make her change her mind about staying. They hadn’t actually had sex yet tonight but there wasn’t even a token comment about it.
Who was the darling?