ned in January. I’m not taking anyone’s side because there are no sides to take.”
“You never have time for me these days.” She was crying now. “I don’t want to lose you, Harris. You’re all I have left.”
“You’re not going to lose me. I will always be your friend, Jenna. And I’m not all you have left. Shane and Drake see you every week. Angie is there every day—”
“They stop by for ten minutes, ask if I need anything, and then leave. Angie just sits around here all day, lecturing me on eating and getting enough sun. She feels like a damn mother hen.” The tears were drying up now, replaced with anger. “You’re the only one who understands.”
“I’m the only one who lets you mope and feel sorry for yourself,” I snapped. “It’s time that stopped. You want the old life you had before Tessa, you have to show everyone that you’ve changed. Sitting in your dark apartment all day every day isn’t going to do that. Bitching and whining about how you’ve lost everyone and everything sure as hell won’t do it.” I heard her sharp inhale, but didn’t even pause. “Get your shit together, Jenna.”
The next second the line went dead and I realized she had hung up on me. I tossed my phone on the coffee table and leaned forward. Dropping my head, I lifted my hands and squeezed the back of my neck. I felt like shit for hurting her, but I didn’t regret one word I’d just said to her. What had happened in January wasn’t her fault, but she was making it all about herself. It was time she grew up.
Soft fingers touched the back of my hands and my head snapped up. Lucy stood over me, her eyes full of concern and compassion. “You okay?”
I caught hold of her hand and tugged her down onto my lap. “I’m good.”
Silky soft fingers traced over my chin, then moved to the dimple in my left cheek. “I’m sorry about Jenna. I didn’t mean to keep you away from her.”
I dropped a quick, hard kiss on her lips. “You aren’t keeping me away. I have a short list of priorities right now, sweetness, and Jenna just isn’t on it. If she can’t understand that then maybe she should take a closer look at her own priorities.”
She pressed her lips together for a moment, deep in thought, then licked her tongue over the plumpness. Helplessly I followed the movement of that sexy little pink tip. “You should’ve told her about what’s going on with me. She would’ve understood.”
“It’s none of her business,” I interrupted. “I hate admitting it, Lu, but right now Jenna is stuck in a ‘pity me’ mentality and can’t think past herself. She’s depressed and has shut herself away, but no one can help her because she doesn’t want to help herself. I’ll give her a few days and then call her again. Maybe by then she’ll have a better perspective.”
“I don’t want you to fight with Jenna, Harris. You two have been friends for so long.” She laid her head on my chest. “I don’t want to come between you two.”
I kissed the top of her head. “You aren’t, I swear.”
She started tracing little patterns on my shirt, but I felt it all the way to my dick. “Maybe… Well, maybe we could all go to dinner together soon. Maybe if she sees I don’t want to take you away from her she won’t hate me.”
“No one could ever hate you, sweetness.” I kissed her again. “But the dinner idea is something we can talk about once we’re home. Okay?”
She lifted her head, a small smile tilting her lips. “Okay. I want you to be happy.”
Surprise had my brows lifting and my eyes widening. “Lucy, I am happy. Much more happiness and it might kill me.” Her smile started to dim and I cupped her face in both my hands. “The entire world could be going to hell, but I’d still be the happiest man alive as long as I have you.”
“You haven’t seemed very happy lately.” She lowered her lashes. “You don’t smile often anymore.”
“That’s only because I’m worried about you. I’m always going to worry about you, Lu. Today, tomorrow, ten years from now. Fifty years down the road. I’ll still be worrying.” I pulled her closer, tucking her head under my chin. “But don’t think that I’m not happy, because nothing will change that. Having you beside me is the only necessity I have to happiness.”
Her nails bit into my chest, but the small pain only caused my jeans to become almost unbearably tight.
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Lucy.”
We sat there like that for a long while. Holding her brought me peace and I hoped it helped her too. We didn’t have to be kissing or making love to feel connected. All we needed was to hold on to each other and I knew in my soul she would be okay. Eventually, it was her stomach growling that pulled us apart.
Marcus came out of his room and we got ready to leave. Jesse, Layla and the twins were already waiting on us when we got to the pizza place where we were going to have dinner. Luca and Lyric didn’t know what was going on with their sister. Everyone thought they were too young to understand, and I agreed with them. But they were too smart not to know something was wrong with Lucy, and I figured she would eventually tell them. Until then, we didn’t talk about it when they were around.
Jesse got up when he saw us approaching the corner booth they were already sitting at. He hugged Lucy hard, then turned to shake my hand. The huge rocker hadn’t batted an eye when I told him I was going to stay with Lucy while we were in D.C. If anything, I thought he was relieved that I would be with her day and night. The fact that we were sharing a bed didn’t seem to bother him. I guess the possibility of Lucy hurting herself outweighed the thought of what we were doing behind closed doors.
Layla stood as well and hugged her daughter even harder than Jesse had. Layla was still blaming herself and I could understand where she was coming from. If Lucy and I ever had kids of our own, I knew I would feel the same way if we found out that one of them was hurting themselves. Mother and daughter had become even closer over the last two weeks. They talked every day and Layla was trying to be more understanding about Lucy’s reasons for the cutting. I doubted she would ever completely understand, though.
I doubted any of us really would.
“I’m so ready to go home tomorrow,” Lyric said as we took our seats. He took a big bite of his cheese pizza.
“Me too,” Luca grumbled. “Can Violet and Mason sleep over tomorrow night?” His dark eyes brightened at the possibility until his father shook his head.