‘Yes. No. I don’t know.’
And he didn’t—after all, this could be the most important conversation of his life and he could totally screw it up. He could lose her.
‘I need to tell you something.’
‘Actually, there is something I need to tell you as well.’ Her hands twisted together and she looked away from him, out at the boats that bobbed on the murky water.
‘Could I go first?’ Before he bottled it.
She nodded.
‘First I need to tell you about Axel. The accident that killed him—I should have been in the car. He took my place because I’d decided to go a party—a celebration of a buy-out deal. He not only took my place, he totally cove
red for me. He told everyone that it had been his idea, that he’d wanted to attend and I’d given up my place.’
Her beautiful brown eyes widened, and then without hesitation she moved closer to him. ‘I am so very sorry. I cannot imagine what you went through—what you must still be going through. But please listen to me. It was not your fault—you did not know what would happen.’
‘I know that, but...’
‘But it doesn’t help. I understand. I understand how many times you must think if only or what if? But you mustn’t. I spent years thinking what if my mother hadn’t died? What if she hadn’t handed me over to my father? What if I could somehow have won his love? My stepmother’s love. My sister’s love? It made me question how I felt about my mother and it ate away at my soul—like this is eating away at yours. You can’t know what would have happened. Axel might have died anyway. Your action wasn’t deliberate—you wished Axel no harm.’
‘That’s what Marcus said.’
‘He’s a good man.’
‘Yes.’
Frederick took a deep breath, looked at her beautiful face, her poise and grace, the compassion and gentleness and empathy in her gorgeous eyes.
‘He said something else as well...’
Suddenly words weren’t enough—he couldn’t encompass how he felt in mere words. So instead he pushed away from the wall, and when she turned he sank to one knee.
‘Frederick...?’
He could taste the sea spray, see the expression on her face of confusion, and hope soared in his heart as he took her left hand in his and removed the huge, heavy diamond—a ring chosen by someone else. He delved into his pocket and pulled out a box, purchased earlier from one of Mumbai’s many jewellers.
‘Will you marry me? For real. Not for Amil, not for Lycander, but because I love you. Heart, body and soul. Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you, wake up with you every morning. I want to live my life side by side with you. I want us to rule together, to laugh together, to live a life full of all the emotions. So, will you marry me? For real?’
His heart pounded and his fingers shook as he opened the box and took the ring out.
Her breathless laugh was caught with joy, the smile on her face so bright and beautiful his heart flipped.
‘Yes. I will marry you. For real. Because I love you. That’s what I wanted to tell you. That I love you. I didn’t think in a million years that you could possibly love me back, but I wanted to tell you anyway. Heart, body and soul—they are all yours.’
He slipped the ring onto her finger and she lifted her hand in the air, watching the red and aquamarine stones interspersed with diamonds glint in the light of the setting sun.
‘It’s beautiful. Perfect.’
‘I’m sorry about the other ring.’
‘It makes this one all the more special. Did I mention I love it? Did I mention I love you?’
He rose to his feet. ‘You did, but you can say it as many times as you like—those words won’t ever get old.’
‘No. Though Nanni says we have to back the words up. That love isn’t only words—it’s actions.’ She stepped forward and looped her arms round his waist, snuggled in close. ‘You are sure, aren’t you? Sure this is real?’
‘I have never been more sure of anything. I think I loved you from the start—I just couldn’t admit it. Not to you, not to myself. You see, I didn’t feel I deserved this joy.’