‘She’s your mum. She wants the best for you. She wants you to be happy.’
Alex met her gaze. ‘So why haven’t you told your dad you want to go to Oxford?’
She felt a prickle of shame. ‘How do you know about that?’
‘You told me in Bristol. Then I heard your dad talking at dinner about you joining the company in August. I asked him about your MA course at Oxford and he looked at me as if he had no idea what I was talking about.’
She felt startled, panicked. ‘Oh, no. You didn’t mention that, did you? I’ve not told him. Not yet anyway.’
‘Bigmouth strikes again.’
‘No, I’m glad,’ she said, not entirely convincingly. ‘It needs to be said. At least now it might not come as such a big surprise.’
Alex nudged gently
into her. ‘Wherever we end up, we will stay in touch, won’t we?’ he said finally.
A beam of excitement pierced through her worry. ‘Sure. We could go to, er, a gig or something.’
‘You should come up to Manchester,’ said Alex. ‘We could go to the Haç.’
‘The Haç?’
‘The Haçienda,’ he said, as if it was blindingly obvious.‘You know, the club? One night a week, they even have a swimming pool.’
‘Ah, yes,’ said Grace, keen not to look completely square. ‘Loads of girls on E stripping down to their G-strings lost in love and a wall of sound? I guessed you’d like that.’
‘Of course,’ he said matter-of-factly. ‘Or we could go out in London. I’ve never been to the Mud Club. Or the Wag.’
‘But I might be in Oxford.’
‘Then we can go punting.’ He laughed.
They kept on walking around the sandy headland. This far away from the house, it was almost pitch black, with just watery moonlight to light their way. Scrambling over a patch of rocks, Alex reached back to take Grace’s hand, and even when they reached the flat sand again, he kept hold of it. Grace’s heart was pounding, her mouth dry and she didn’t dare talk, frightened of breaking the magic.
Just kiss him, you bloody idiot, she willed herself. It’s now or never.
‘Alex,’ she whispered, turning towards him.
‘Hey, is that Sasha?’ he said suddenly, looking up the path.
Grace felt her heart sink. ‘Think so.’
‘Should we hide?’ He gave her a small embarrassed grin and then dropped her hand. Grace knew the moment was over. She walked on towards the dark figure, feeling as if her heart might break.
8
At the top of Catseye Cove Sasha was feeling sick. Alcohol and a few more hits of cocaine were swirling around in her bloodstream, but the main reason for her nausea was an unfamiliar sense of guilt and – most of all – the horror that she had done something which could not only rock the boat, but could completely capsize it altogether.
What the hell was I thinking? she thought, kicking her toes against the sand. Why work so hard to hook Miles only to throw it all away on some nobody?
She breathed deeply, as she had been taught in yoga, and was just beginning to contain her emotions when she saw Miles emerge out of the undergrowth. His shirt was untucked and he looked unsteady on his feet.
‘Where the fuck have you been?’ she demanded irritably.
Miles shot her a look of disdain. ‘Just walking,’ he said.
‘For the past two hours? I’ve been everywhere looking for you, worried out of my mind.’