Did I imagine the tension in the car?
Would a man as handsome and muscular and downright captivating as him ever even look at me?
“Tamia?”
“Yeah.” I laugh dryly. “Sorry. I guess I’m tired today.”
That’s the truth, I spent all day being held captive by daydreams of Triston.
“He owns a chain of outdoor, clothing, and equipment stores,” she says. “When he was younger he used to travel the world, rock climbing, kayaking, stuff like that. And then he decided to make it his work. He’s done very well for himself.”
“You sound proud,” I note.
“I am,” she says passionately. “I saw how hard he worked in the beginning. He still works his butt off now, when he needs to, but it’s nothing like when I was a little kid. But I never resented him for the long hours. I knew he was making a better life for us.”
I swallow a big ball of emotion as I think about Triston and me doing whatever it takes to make sure our children are provided for.
“Maybe we should go to the park when you get your camera,” Alexis goes on. “We could snap a few pictures. Maybe grab a drink? You don’t have to decide right now. I know it must be strange.”
“How are you feeling?” I ask. “With her – the – heart I mean.”
“Good.” I’m sure I can hear her smiling. “Really good. I was scared at first. There’s always a chance of rejection. But Lisa’s taking care of me, Tamia.”
Suddenly there are tears in my eyes. I sit up and try to fight away the sob rising in my throat, but it hits me like a blow to the gut. I fight to choke it back even as the grief tries to overwhelm me. I know Lisa wouldn’t want me to be sad but I don’t think there will ever be a day when I don’t miss her.
“Tamia?”
“I’m sorry,” I say, pushing the words past my tears. “Sometimes it’s like… I can’t believe she’s gone. I just can’t believe it. She was always there. Always. Almost for as long as I can remember. We always looked out for each other. This is sad, but I don’t really have any other friends.”
“Yes you do,” Alexis snaps, fierceness biting into her voice. “You hear me? You do. You’ve got me.”
I want to hold onto her words, to ignore the complications and let them bolster me. But how can I become friends with this woman when my feelings for her dad are completely out of control?
Can I tame them?
There are too many questions, the answers seeming far away, impossible to grasp.
But this is what Lisa wanted, for me to meet the new owner of her heart.
I can’t go against her wishes. In a way, it’s better not to have to decide.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“Start looking for a camera,” Lisa says. “When you’ve decided, shoot me a text and we’ll arrange payment.”
“Are you—”
“And don’t ask if we’re sure,” she goes on. “I know what it's like to want – need – to follow your passion.”
Lisa doesn’t know it, but she’s just hammered the most important issue home. There’s a passion growing inside of me, expanding until it’s touching every part of me, but it’s not for photography.
It’s for him, the six-and-a-half-foot man with the intense icy blue eyes and iron peppered hair I can’t stop thinking about. It’s for the man with the smirk that has me aching to decipher his every expression.
“Thank you,” I say. “Really. I mean it.”
“Thank you,” Alexis says. “And thanks to Lisa too. You’ll never know how grateful I am.”
We end the call and I climb to my feet, walking into the bathroom and splashing water in my face. My cheeks sting from the crying, the tears cutting paths down my face they’ve sliced down many times before.
Staring at myself in the mirror, the same thought strikes me.
He’d never be interested.
But then my mind makes the impossible happen. I imagine Triston walking up behind me, spreading his powerful arms around me, and wrapping his forearms across my chest.
I can feel him squeezing me close and leaning down to my ear, his voice husky and low, possessing me with each word.
“You’re always going to be mine,” he growls. “No one else is ever going to touch you. You belong to me. You’ll always belong to me. Forever.”
The fantasy is so vivid, I’m sure I can feel his muscles pressing against my fingernails as I clutch onto him, desperate for him to never let go.
I turn away from the mirror, I think about Alexis.
Despite the complications, I am looking forward to going to the park with her. I’ve got colleagues at the restaurant and I’m friendly with my manager at the sports center, but I wasn’t lying when I told Alexis I don’t have any real friends. Lisa was my one true friend and now she’s gone. I could never replace her but just because my heart will never let her go doesn’t mean there isn’t room for another friend, especially when they have her heart.