“Yes.” He sprays the basin.
“Why?”
“I don’t know … I think the company has been great. And I agree, talking on the phone is fun. Even the golf is enjoyable despite your unfair talent.” He glances over his shoulder and winks at me before returning his attention to the basin. “But the benefits part was not up to par. And I’ve never been one for beating a dead horse, so I feel just as relieved as you do.”
As soon as I can pick my jaw up from the floor, I will have a few words to say to Marcus Shepard. But for now, I’m utterly speechless. The sex? He doesn’t think the sex with me was up to par? What the actual fuck?
Just as I start to unscramble my brain and the words make their way to my lips, Riley interrupts. “Are we out of the dehydrated duck feet?”
I am in the middle of a secret relationship crisis and she’s asking about dehydrated duck feet?
Shep wipes his hands on a towel. “No. There’s another box in back. I’ll grab it.” He gives me a smile. It seems a little generous for someone who is unhappy with my sexual performance. It must be the friend smile, not the best friend smile. “I can meet you next Monday night at the park. Or I can call you later to chat. Or we can golf this weekend?”
I have no clue how to respond to him. That’s it? I’m a bad lover, but how about we get nine holes in this weekend? No. I don’t accept this on the principle that I AM NOT BAD IN BED!
This is my ticket. A free ticket to get out of explaining why I will need to go approximately six months without seeing him in person. Before long, I’ll have a little bump and our friendship will be over or put on a long pause. I’ll need a good month after the birth to wrap my midsection like a heroine in a Victorian romance novel. It’s not clear yet whether my vaginal region will be noticeably lax to someone who had once ventured into the tighter canal. And if I’d end up having a C-section, how would I explain that scar? What are the chances of Shep knowing the difference between a C-section scar and one left after say … an appendix removal? But then … Jesus … what if I use the appendix excuse and then actually need my appendix out? Surely Shep knows humans only have one appendix.
These are moot points because Shep will never have sex with me again. I am the dead horse he won’t beat.
“I have plans tonight,” I say, even though I don’t unless I can count plotting Jimmy’s death as plans. “The dog park Monday sounds good.”
Shep bites his bottom lip and nods. “Sounds good. You should go get a massage or something. I still sense a lot of pent-up anger.”
I return a tight smile. “I’m good. See ya.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“Just great …” I mumble upon returning home from my disastrous planned encounter with Shep.
There’s an Accord parked in the new driveway. Jimmy’s entertaining someone at my house.
“There she is. You must be Sophie. I’m Kora, Jimmy’s aunt. It’s nice to meet you.” She shoots me a grin as she trims Jimmy’s hair in my kitchen.
Jimmy keeps his gaze on the television, totally ignoring me.
I grit my teeth. “Hi … Kora.” My attempt to keep from acting like a disgruntled bitch fails.
“Jimmy said you’ve been pretty busy lately, so he didn’t want to burden you by asking you to give him a trim, so since I’m in town for a few days, I agreed to get him fixed up.”
Burden me? Could she be more delusional?
“I see.” I release Cersei from her leash and toe off my shoes. “I’m glad it worked out, especially since he’s been dying to ask you if he can move to Tennessee and live with you since we broke up.”
Jimmy shoots me a scowl.
“Oh …” Kora pauses her trimming. “Jimmy, you didn’t say anything about that? Your mom said you and Sophie were working things out.”
“We are.” He returns his attention to the TV. “Sophie’s been a little moody lately. I think she might be bipolar. One day she’s all over me, and the next day she’s screaming at me to move out. This must be a move out day. It’s best not to engage with her today.”
“Kora …” I grab the scissors from her hand and slap them onto the counter. “I’m not bipolar. Your nephew is in denial. I’ve taken legal action to have him evicted. You should be embarrassed for him. He’s the one who needs help, psychiatric evaluation or maybe an MRI to rule out a brain tumor. He either leaves on his own free will, maybe with your help, or the sheriff will physically remove him from my property. Is that what you want?” I rip the towel from around his neck and shake it before shoving it into Kora’s chest.