Except…I don’t regret getting together with his ex. Sure, I’m sorry about how it went down and the lies I told, but that’s it.
Before I can figure it out, he plows a hand through his blond hair, making the short strands stand on end. “Look man, I don’t want to have a problem with you.”
My feet stutter to a halt as he does the same. A couple of guys slap us on the shoulders before sauntering past. It takes a moment for the field to completely empty.
“I feel the same.” I clear my throat. “I didn’t mean for everything to go down the way it did. I’ve always tried to keep my distance from her so it wouldn’t happen.”
He releases a steady puff of air before glancing away. “Yeah, I know. I guess…” His voice trails off as he jerks his shoulders. “I guess part of the reason I couldn’t let it go is because she’s the one who dumped my ass. Maybe I wanted to prove that I could get her back. It had more to do with my ego than anything else.”
I shift my weight, unsure how to respond to the admittance.
Is it what I suspected all along?
Yeah, it is.
When it comes down to it, Andrew doesn’t actually want a girlfriend. He never did. He wants to screw around with all the groupies who spread their legs for him. And you know what?
As long as everyone understands the score and is cool with it, have at it. Enjoy yourself. Maybe there’ll come a day when he meets a girl who changes the way he views relationships and makes him rethink his priorities. I don’t know. So far, that hasn’t happened. Maybe it never will.
“So, what now?” I ask.
His gaze resettles on me. “I let it go and we move on. We’ve been friends for too fucking long to let some chick come between us.”
For him, that’s the truth.
For me, it’s not.
As far as I’m concerned, Brooke is worth it. If I wanted her before all this happened, it’s nothing compared to the way I ache for her now that we’ve drilled beneath the surface and got to know each other on a deeper level.
When he starts walking again, I do the same.
“Maybe it’s better this way,” he continues.
Confused, I glance at him. “What do you mean?”
“That neither of us is with her.”
I force out a long, slow breath. For a flicker of a second, I consider holding back the truth. But how can I do that after all the lies that have rocked the foundation of our friendship?
I’m tired of keeping my real feelings buried deep inside where they can’t see the light of day.
“I like her,” I blurt, surprising even myself.
“What?” He shoots a frown in my direction as if he didn’t hear me correctly.
I clear my throat and strengthen my voice so there’s no confusion about my feelings. “I don’t know if it’s possible for her to forgive me, but I need to try to work things out. There’s no way I can just let her go.”
40
BROOKE
“I can’t believe that I let you drag me here,” I grumble as we head up the concrete stadium steps with our drinks and popcorn in hand.
“Oh, come on,” Sasha says, “it’ll be fun. You needed to get out of the apartment. You’ve been moping for way too long.”
Fun?
Ha! The last thing this will be is fun.
The moping part?
Yeah, unfortunately, that’s true. I’ve been brooding. And no, it’s not a good look on me. If it were possible to snap out of it, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I want to forget about Crosby and enjoy the last six months of college. I’d assumed it would take a few days to shake off this funk, but it’s continued to linger like a bad stench. If anything, it’s worse now than it was before, which doesn’t make a damn bit of sense. Our relationship was fleeting. Here and gone before I could blink my eyes. And yet, it feels like I’ve lost something special.
How’s that for a kick in the ass?
So, no…sitting in the stadium bleachers at a football game for three plus hours and staring at Crosby on the bright green turf isn’t going to help hasten that along. If anything, it’ll make matters worse, and I can’t afford to slide backward.
There have only been a handful of times when I’ve spotted him at the Union or on one of the paths that cut across campus. Normally, I’ll swing around and head in the opposite direction. Even if that means arriving late to class. A couple of times, he’s caught sight of me, too. He’ll hold my gaze, refusing to look away. Thankfully, he doesn’t take it a step further and approach. It’s doubtful my heart could withstand that kind of onslaught. I’m barely holding it together as it is.