“April…” he protested, but I stopped him with a kiss.
I wanted to leave this world after tasting this one last pleasure.
“Are you sure?” he whispered, peppering kisses to my cheeks, my neck.
“Yes.”
I questioned my decision as Ashton locked the door. My whole body had bruises, scars from operations… did I really want him to see me like this?
He hugged me like he sensed my hesitation.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. But if you’re having cold feet because of any kind of self-doubt, stop it,” he whispered into my hair.
“I have scars… bruises,” I whispered back. He didn’t say anything, instead he kissed my neck, slowly pulling down my t-shirt straps.
“Ashton…”
“Shh… let me make you feel good,” was his only response.
And I let him…
I let him consume my feelings with his soft caresses… memorize my skin with his lips.
I gave him the permission to hurt me, only to replace the pain with pleasure. I chose to give him the only thing I could.
I let him touch my soul, caress my body inside and out, making it full for the first time… physically and emotionally.
And he worshipped me, making me cry out for pleasure instead of pain, giving me the delicious taste of being loved, cherished… and wanted.
As I fell asleep in his arms, his words were enough to put a teary smile on my face:
“I will never forget you, Princess.”
ASHTON
That night, it was the last time she smiled.
That morning, her scream woke me up. I could easily tell she was in indescribable pain, all the muscles in her body were contracting as I tried to calm her. But nothing I did could help her anymore.
I called the nurses, the doctors, but there was nothing they could do, either.
I had never felt that miserable, that useless in my life.
I wanted to take her pain away, make her smile again. There was nothing I wouldn’t do if I knew that I would see her look at me with happiness just one more time.
I would kiss her one last time if I knew that I could suck her pain off of her lips.
But I couldn’t do anything…
I only watched her as she slipped away from my fingers. With every painful cry from her, I lost one piece of myself. Every time she closed her eyes because of the painkillers, I felt my heart shatter with the fear of losing her.
The next two days she stayed under the spell of heavy painkillers and sedatives. The second they lost their effects on her she turned back into a screaming mess, crushing the last beating part of my heart between her slender fingers.
I was losing her… with each passing second… and all I wanted to do was stop the time. But it was selfish of me, forcing her to live in sorrow just for another second with her.
Yet, she thought of me even through the pain she was feeling.
She cursed at me to leave.