Co
mpletely stripped bare.
I set the shower to the hottest setting I can stand and let the water rain over me, taking my tears with it down the drain. I couldn’t get his pained look out of my mind, his shuddering shoulders from his sobbing early this morning. I just want to help him.
How can I help him if he won’t let me in?
Once I’ve cried all my tears, for Ashton, for my attack, for losing my parents; every event that has taken place in my life, a cleansing of the soul they call it - I take in a refreshing long breath in through my nose and blew it out slowly.
~*~
Stepping out of the shower, I wrap a towel around me and head for my bedroom to get dressed. After I dress in jeans and a sweater, I head to the kitchen to make coffee and some toast then sit down for a while until it’s time for work. Picking up my magazine from the table, I flick through it, but I can’t concentrate, my thoughts go straight back to Ashton again.
Why does everything come back to him?
He doesn’t want me, I have to deal with that.
I slam down the magazine with more force than necessary and take my plate and cup to the kitchen. Leaving them in the sink, I grab my coat and bag and make my way to work. I know I’m going to get a grilling today from Toby for not telling him everything in the text yesterday but I’m prepared, I think.
The cab pulls up on the lot at the back of the bar and I get out of the car, but my steps falter… I look towards the alley as all memories flood back, my hands shake as I push them into the pockets of my jeans.
Be brave Sia!
Pulling my bag further up onto my shoulder, I drop my eyes to the floor and walk past as quickly as I can. I don’t think of myself as timid, I haven’t been since I lost my parents, I had to grow up and learn how to stand on my own two feet, I survived that; I’ll survive this too.
After a quick check that my car is still where I parked it I keep walking. To walk this way is another ten minutes on my time so I think I may have to find somewhere else to park my car from now on.
~*~
I open the bar, it is clean and tidy; Toby and Lily have done an awesome job. I put my bag behind the bar and take off my coat. I switch on the coffee machine and pour myself a coffee as my boss walks in through the door. I pour him one too and hand it to him as I say hello.
“Where were you yesterday, it’s not like you to call in sick.”
“I couldn’t get to work, I stayed at a friend’s house the night before...when I tried to make the journey to work there was a tree in the road; it was completely blocked. I’m sorry I just couldn’t get here…”
“Well, I expect more from my bar manager, you really should be more responsible.”
“I’m always responsible!” I screech. “I run this place on my own when you can’t be even bothered to check on the place. How dare you say I should be more responsible!”
Taking a deep shuddering breath in, I close my eyes for a second and wait for the anger to abate.
“Look, Acacia, when I took you on as bar manager I expected more from you.”
“What are you saying? You don’t want me here is that it? Do you want to know why I had to stay at my friend’s house?”
He shrugs his shoulders and takes a long pull from his cup of coffee and looks over the rim at me, waiting for me to carry on.
“I was attacked the other night when I was walking from the bar, in that alleyway!” he moves his cup slowly and stands there watching me with his mouth hanging open.
“That’s why I was at a friend’s house. He lives in the mountains, so there was absolutely no way of getting around it. I’m sorry, I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.” I take my cup into the kitchen, wash it up and place it on the drainer.
I wipe a stray tear from my eye before it’s allowed to drop because I’m stronger than that. When I walk back into the bar, the boss is still there but sitting down - obviously, so he can take in the news of my attack.
“Sia, did you tell the police?” His voice is a lot softer than it was when he walked in, feeling sorry for me I’m sure - well fuck that I don’t want his pity!
“What for? They can’t do anything. He was interrupted, he knocked me out; hit my head on the wall, my friend happened to be coming to the bar and found me. I don’t know what happened really after I lost consciousness I can’t remember everything. And… I don’t want your pity, I just want to do my job.”
“It’s not pity, I know you’re stronger than that, I remember when your parents died…” He rubs the back of his neck, feeling awkward. “Right you are going to be okay, yes? I have to get going,” he asks.