War on Whimsy (Space Brigade 3) - Page 62
Then a slight woman with cropped gray hair stepped out from behind Georgio.
Nicola gasped. "I think you may know my planet, too," said the woman briskly.
Nicola was trying to speak, but no words were coming out of her mouth. She had never been so surprised to see someone in her entire life.
"As you probably guessed," said Nicola's crazy great-aunt Annie, "I represent Earth."
CHAPTER 31
"Great-aunt Annie? " Nicola finally managed to speak.
Sean was back in the Food Hall helping to tie up the sleeping guards. She wished he were here to share her shock at this unexpected surprise.
"Those dreadful Volcomanians kidnapped me from your great-grandmother's birthday party just a few minutes after you left," said Great-aunt Annie.
"You're one of the United Aunts?" stammered Nicola.
"What's so surprising about that?" said Great-aunt Annie.
Well, for one thing, Dad says you're a nut! Isn't it a bit embarrassing for Earth to have Great-aunt Annie as a representative?
"Most Earthlings don't even believe in the existence of life on other planets," said Nicola out loud. "I wouldn't have thought Earth would have a representative."
"That's why there weren't many applicants for the position," admitted Great-aunt Annie. "There was an advertisement in my local paper about ten years ago. I think most people thought it was a joke, but I thought, why not? They wanted an adventurous aunt with a strong sense of morality who was committed to achieving intergalactic peace. I met all the criteria! I remember I tried to tell the family when I got the position but everyone just thought I'd lost my marbles. So nowadays I pretend to be as clueless about intergalactic life as ordinary Earthlings. That's why when Shimlara called for you at Grammy's party, I put on a little act. I don't know why I bother. You all still think I'm quite crazy!"
"Oh, no we don't," said Nicola unconvincingly.
"Do you think we should postpone all these family reunions for another time?" said a rather cranky-looking aunt from the Planet of Doom. "There is a war going on."
"You're right," said Mully. She stopped patting Shimlara's hair and she straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. "What's your strategy, Nicola?"
Nicola was always amazed at the way Shimlara's mother could be transformed from ordinary mom to experienced soldier and back again in a matter of seconds.
"We put rose petals in the guards' food to make them sleep," she said. "We're tying them up at the moment. Then we'll--anyway, I'll explain the rest later." She was suddenly worried that Mully would think their strategy was dumb.
"Sounds like you're doing a great job," said Mully with encouragement.
"I do hope you're not going against the United Aunts' 'Play Nice' Guidelines," said the plump aunt who represented the Planet of Plenty. "The United Aunts do not condone nastiness."
"Er--we're tying them up as nicely as possible," said Nicola.
When they got back to the hall, they found Tyler and Katie tying the last of the guards to chairs.
"The prisoners were very enthusiastic about helping," said Sean to Nicola. His eyes widened. "Great-aunt Annie? "
"Is that my president tied to a chair?" said the aunt who represented Volcomania. She pointed at Mrs. Mania, who was still sleeping in spite of the ropes tying her to the chair. "When she wakes up she is going to be furious!"
"I don't care if she's furious." Nicola marched up to Mrs. Mania's chair. She bent down and checked the ropes to make sure Mrs. Mania had no hope of escaping.
"Nicola," said Katie.
"What?" Nicola was busy giving the rope around Mrs. Mania's ankle an extra-firm tug.
"Nicola," said Katie again.
Nicola looked up and froze.
Mrs. Mania's nose twitched. She moved her mouth around as if it were full of marbles. She opened her eyes and looked around blearily, taking in the sight of her tied-up son, the tied-up guards, and the released prisoners staring back at her.
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