Fin squeezed my hand, no doubt seeing the turmoil swinging like a pendulum inside my gut.
“Okay, shoot.”
“As you know, or may have figured out, the Black Mage held me captive for some time. He used my power to bolster him in any way he could figure out, and left me used up and drained on a daily basis. I had nothing left to tap into, until the next day of course...” She trailed off, her eyes going hazy as she stared into the fire.
Helix closed his hand around her shoulder.
She continued. “He held me for a long time. Years.”
Fin’s anguish rose up from inside me, threatening to claw its way out of my body. I gripped his hand tighter in my own, using it to give whatever he needed to fight the rollercoaster of emotions.
Even though I was perfectly aware of his inner battle, his face remained polite, composed as he listened to Melinda speak. It made me wonder how many of those fights with himself he had where I’d made things worse by throwing his pain back in his face.
I didn’t let the guilt take hold, focusing on Melinda’s next words.
“The weapon you’re trying to fight is one I made myself.”
It was like the needle scratch on a turntable. Even the fire seemed to go silent around us.
Well, shit.
Part of me wanted to hate her for what she’d done, what she’d made for him. But it was impossible to do so when I stared into the naked pain written on her face. She never had a choice. Esteban would have forced her to make the knife, and threatened to kill her if she didn’t.
“If anything, maybe that helps, since you know what was done to create it?”
She shook her head, tears pooling on her long dark lashes. “I should have died instead of giving him such a weapon. And a few people did die, in the making of it. I feel their souls sometimes, around me, blaming me for being a coward and choosing to live.”
I nodded. “In that situation, sometimes it’s not a choice. Our minds are meant to keep us alive. If our will to live is strong it can overpower reason, love, anything to ensure your heart keeps beating. Don’t blame yourself. I’ve faced him several times and know what he’s capable of. It wasn’t your fault, none of it.”
She sniffed and wiped her eyes with her fingers. “Thank you for saying that, but decades of guilt can’t be negated by a few kind words.”
I let her have that. even if Fin’s acute desire to help his sister beat at me with every breath. Him being here, witnessing the aftermath of Esteban’s capture of her, was eating at him from the inside out. He wanted to make it right more than anything in the world. His sense of justice was almost as strong as my stubbornness.
She continued, her voice steadier. “What you need to know is that when I made the blade, I tied it to me magically, so I’d always be able to eventually cut off its power. I don’t have enough magic organically to do it alone, which is why I needed your magic.”
She nodded at Fin.
I glanced between her and Fin. “I take it there is a big fat but coming any second.”
A short laugh burst out of her. “You’re correct, Zoey. There is a but. In order to unbind the magic around the knife, I need to tap into it using all the magic I have, and all the magic I was given for the task. This will put me below my source, drifting on magic alone. To be able to return safely I need an anchor.”
Fin clenched his hand around mine and I risked a look at him. Even though his face remained perfectly unreadable, everything inside him roiled in fear, confusion, anger, dread. So much so that I had to mentally try to contain it like throwing a mental fire blanket over the dark mass of his emotions.
He flinched and then met my eyes. I nodded and he did the same, telling me he was better now.
I focused on Melinda again. “So you need an anchor? What does that mean for us?”
The knowledge, courtesy of Fin, hit me a split second later.
She needed family to anchor her. No one else could be the blood tie she needed to keep herself from floating off into her own magic.
By the look on everyone’s faces, being an anchor had its own dangers. Before, I might have thrown Fin into the middle of the room
and said to get to work. Now, I couldn’t do that. There was nothing on Earth that would compel me to risk his safety if it weren’t absolutely necessary.
“Explain the process,” I said, hearing the sharp edge to my tone I didn’t mean to include.
She shifted on her chair, crossing and uncrossing her legs. “We’ll cut our hands, creating an anchor of our blood between us. Then once the magic of that settles, I’ll be able to use the magic Fin gave me and my own to delve into the connection I forged with the blade and sever the magical signature.”