Save me.
Anna, dressed in bright pink today, stares for another awkward moment before she looks up and says, “Oh. I didn’t realize there was actually something between you two...”
“There’s nothing, Miss Patel. Just call the damn police,” a steel voice booms, furious and conflicted.
My heart stops.
I drop my hand that’s still touching his waist. He won’t even look at me, this silhouette of rage.
Nothing? Nothing? And in front of the whole team?
I wish there was a sniper in a nearby tree to put me out of my misery.
It feels like last summer at the church all over again.
Except somehow, this is worse.
He just told me he cared about me and changed his mind in less than a second. Or else he’s just lying to cover our asses in the most hurtful way possible.
I fucking hate men.
I get three steps away, struggling to walk in these stupid heels, before I burst into tears.
Great.
Now I hate myself too.
A pair of arms find me a few seconds later. Cheryl, determined to keep me from falling, whispering soft words.
“It’s okay, Dakota. Deep breaths.” She gives Anna a desperate look, who’s also at my side.
“Why don’t you guys go for a ride in the company car?” Anna asks. “I’ll sort this out. Everything.”
Oh, how I wish that was possible.
18
Lenore? (Lincoln)
I could cut out my own goddamned tongue.
As soon as the words left my mouth, Dakota shirked away from me, sobbing into Cheryl’s arms.
I am a supreme dumbass. A miserable, unthinking fuck.
That’s what happens when you run your mouth without thinking first.
Worm boy pissed me off, yeah, but he triggered something deeper.
Another time. Another place. Another heart broken and another clown begging for pain.
Only, that time I lashed out like a gorilla. I did serious damage to that cheating asshole, and if it wasn’t for that last-minute settlement, he might’ve ended my career.
Is that what I’m doing again?
Throwing hands at a man because I’m too afraid of being hurt again? And no, I don’t mean the knife the little prick pulled. At least this time, I’ll be covered legally since he tried to come at me with a weapon.
I wish it was just him.
Hearing Nevermore say the l-word detonated ten tons of raw, emotional violence in my gut.
It came down on my head like an avalanche in red.
I’m in a relationship with my employee.
Well, fuck, was in a relationship. I’m sure she’ll have every reason to hate me now after this ironic malfunction.
I stood up for her, and then I turned around and did the same shit he did.
I’m not even sure I deserve her any more than the gibbering heap they just dragged off in handcuffs.
I’ve officially lost control over a woman.
Something I swore would never happen a second time.
Clearly, I couldn’t stand to watch him hurt her. But it turned me into that violent, bristling ball of pure rage I swore I wouldn’t become after a woman betrayed me once. After I watched everyone I love have their hearts shredded by tragedy.
I vowed to live like a calm, focused shell of a human being, and now I’m out like a hermit crab, snapping at everyone.
Worst of all, hurting the woman who drew me out in the first place.
“Okay, guys—show’s over. Nothing else to see here. So let’s grab some rides back to the office,” Anna says with a nervous look at me.
She’s a good team leader. The folks clustered around us listen and start moving.
Her eyes stay on me though, waiting for an explanation I don’t have.
“What are you looking at, Miss Patel?” I snap. “Your concern is noted. However, I would have done the same thing for you if some maniac accosted you with a knife. It was nothing.”
Nothing.
Right.
I’ve got to sort this out, but first I need to stop lying.
Anna purses her lips. “Bossman, I appreciate you’d try to stand up for me, but honestly? If you did it by telling someone I was yours and then that there’s no relationship, I’d resign ASAP. I wouldn’t even know how to handle coming in the next day.”
I get the sense that she isn’t done.
“But?” I urge after a silence.
“Well...” She looks at the ground. “I saw what you were like before he came charging in.”
I glance away from her, hating what’s coming next.
“...maybe you didn’t want everyone to find out this way, but I’d man up and apologize,” she says.
“Apologize for what?” I bite off.
She smiles nervously, glowing in the sun.
“There was nothing fake about how you two were acting during the shoot, and especially not after it. I’d bet every dollar I own she’d still be here crying if Cheryl hadn’t left with her...”
Fuck, that guts me.
The coolest girl I know couldn’t play it cool after my words machine gunned her heart.
This is why people shouldn’t mess with relationships.
They crawl up in your head and go ballistic, leaving nothing but smoking debris behind.