I picked up the phone. Sure enough, it wasn’t Cal, it was Jenn. I pretended that I didn’t feel disappointed.
“Hey!” I said as brightly as I could manage. “What’s up?”
“What’s up? I should be asking you that. You had lunch yet?”
“We’re eating right now, actually.”
“Mmm, I thought I smelled a famous Maggie-made sandwich calling my name…”
I laughed. Jenn always knew how to cheer me up. Just like Cal once had. Dammit, and now I was thinking about him again. Bad Maggie, bad! “I suppose it would be unfair to let you starve…”
“I’m nearby and would love to stop in. I’m nothing but skin and bone, Maggie, feeeed meeeee…”
“Hilarious. I’ll make you something.”
“Be there in ten, love ya!”
I hung up and went back into the kitchen to make another sandwich for Jenn. “Aunt Jenn’s coming over!” I told Fern. “How’s that sound?”
“Yaaaay!” Fern clapped her hands excitedly. Jenn had been in Fern’s life from the moment she was born. She’d been the only one at the hospital with me when I went into labor, until my parents had arrived, and she was Fern’s number one babysitter.
I’d been scared that once I gave birth and had to stay home with my kid all the time that Jenn would stop wanting to hangout. My life was pretty boring, after all, and we couldn’t really go anywhere. But Jenn was happy to come over. She never made it a big deal and she just adored Fern.
Case in point: when Jenn arrived she went straight for Fern, scooping her up into the air and swinging her around. “There’s my princess!”
“What am I, chopped liver?” I asked as Jenn set Fern down and then practically dove for the sandwich I’d made her.
“Yes,” Jenn said around a mouthful of food. “So, any particular reason you ditched me?”
“Ditched you?” What was she talking about? We didn’t have plans to go anywhere. And if she’d been planning to come over to the apartment she would’ve just come over, like today.
“You didn’t call me for our show on Sunday,” Jenn replied, quickly polishing off her sandwich.
Oh, shit. Jenn would either come over or, if she was out of town or busy with her clients, she’s video chat with me, and we would watch America’s Got Talent. We did it every weekend, and I should’ve come up with some excuse as to why I hadn’t called, but I’d completely forgotten with the whole Cal thing. Dammit.
I could feel my face heating up and I quickly turned away. “I’m sorry, I should have let you know I was busy.”
“Busy? You’re the one always telling me you have no life.” Jenn grinned. “It must’ve been something big to get you to forget about our date.”
“Why don’t we go outside?” I blurted out, looking at Fern. “Work off that sleepiness?”
Fern was all for it. I could see Jenn out of the corner of my eye, giving me a suspicious look, but I ignored her until we got outside and Fern could run around. I wasn’t about to tell Jenn anything about Cal with Fern around to hear it, and I knew there was no way I could keep him a secret from Jenn, either. Not when I already had to keep him a secret from everyone else in my life.
Of course, I couldn’t tell Jenn the full story. How could I possibly? But I could tell her some of it. And maybe—maybe it would be fun to share. I hadn’t had sex in five years, after all. This was my first time having fun gossip of my own, instead of someone else’s gossip.
“So, on Sunday… the reason that I forgot to call you is I had someone over. An old friend recently moved to Nashville, someone I grew up with but hadn’t seen in ages, and he—he wanted to see me.”
“Oh my God!” Jenn looked ecstatic, her eyes sparkling. “He came all this way to see you!?”
“He did not move to Nashville for me.” Just for our daughter. But I wasn’t getting into that.
“Still! Is he handsome!?”
Oh God, so very handsome. “Yes. He’s… tall, broad shoulders, dark, dark hair, green eyes you can just… fall into…” I cleared my throat and looked away, realizing I was in danger of making an idiot of myself. “I’d always—you know. But I’d never thought he would… want me that way.” That was true, or at least had been when I was twenty and I’d been caught up in the euphoria of my plan working in those glorious few moments before Cal shut down all my hopes.
“And did you…?” Jenn looked breathless, like she was hanging on my every word.
I rolled my eyes. “Yes. After… after Fern went to sleep.” I gave into temptation and told her all about the sex, how it had happened, how it had felt. The furious, passionate coupling on my kitchen counter, the way he’d fucked me like he had no other purpose in life, how he’d had to cover my mouth so I wouldn’t scream and wake up Fern.